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Searching for answers about my gender identity

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Ysolde, Feb 15, 2017.

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  1. Ysolde

    Ysolde
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Philadelphia
    I am 43 and for a number years I have been confused as to where I fit in my gender identity and expression. See I look and present as male in normal space and am mostly comfortable with that I think...

    Online I prefer to express myself as female. I don;t like to be adressed as male online or in any online communities. I play MMO's as female and have been involved in discussion boards presenting as female and interested in women.

    At home my wife and I share caretaking of our children, cooking, cleaning, etcetera. My interests are playing online (as a woman) in MMO's and Play By Post RPG's, Reading Lesbian fiction and romance, reading books with strong female protaganists, wathing tv with strong female protaganists. Basically I don't find male heroes appeal to me in fiction. I just don't identify well with any of them at all.

    Yet I don't feel any need to dress differently or change my mannerisms although I do tend to answer the phone with a higher tone of voice and speak on it that way as well. I am drawn to nurturing and really don't like professional sports.

    I've read through literature and I'm just not sure where I fit or how I fit in anymore. Am I just a weird cis guy who prefers to fantasize that he's a woman or is this something else?

    Any help would be vastly appreciated!
     
    #1 Ysolde, Feb 15, 2017
  2. DJHale

    DJHale
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Indiana
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Bonjour Ysolde!
    Wow. You have a lot to think about don't you?
    If you present as a female online and such, and you really are interested in being more feminine, then I would suggest subtle changes in your appearance. I'm much younger than you, but struggle with the same thing.
    I'm biologically female, but sometimes prefer to identify as male.
    On those days, I do small things to feel more masculine. As of late, I've been spiking my hair up and wearing my (faux) leather jacket. For you, you may not know how exactly you want to present until you try something.
    Like try being a little more feminine to see if being female is something that you want.
    I would also try to discuss this with your wife. Maybe not dive right into it, but see where she stands with gender identity and the like.
    It makes things a lot easier when you have a firm support system. And of course you have me to listen as well.
    I hope this helps, and I apologize for not being able to offer more.
     
    #2 DJHale, Feb 15, 2017
  3. Ysolde

    Ysolde
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    Location:
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    Good idea! I picked out more button downs for work they aren't blouses but they are pastel colors. Pink, lavender, coral and I really like them. I'll go to some more goodwill and see what I can find maybe some floral patterns
     
    #3 Ysolde, Feb 16, 2017
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