I know everyone's experiences are different but I'm just beginning questioning about gender and can't help but feel my thoughts aren't totally valid. Basically (I was born and raised biosex male btw) I don't have a super strong sense of "self" and so have a hard time determining who exactly I am. I identify a lot with typically female or feminine aesthetics and find myself wishing to be women I see and rarely have those feelings with men. As well for a while now in sexual thoughts/fantasies I imagine myself as a woman and am greatly satisfied by these thoughts. But because most of my trans and questioning thoughts are largely aesthetics and sexual I feel like my feelings might be too superficial. When I think a world where I am either presenting how I do now and one where I present/am seen as female the latter makes me happier thinking about. But because I don't have a strong notion of "who I am" I have a hard time thinking that "I'm definitely a different person than who I'm presenting deep down." I don't know that I have an inner-self to identify with but I do know that when I picture myself as a man I feel about nothing, and as a woman I feel something more positive and happy. In regards to sexual thoughts that divide is much bigger and I am frustrated with who I am now but because the more strong feelings are sexual I don't know how valid they are in the rest of my life. Since I'm finding it hard to further extrapolate without repeating myself I'll leave this here for anyone that might want to comment or communicate, thank you.
