Do transgenders have to be stereotypically what they identify with?

Hi Naos,

First, I wanted to say welcome to our weird little family. It's so nice to meet you and have you here with us.

The short answer to your question is no, of course not.

Life is way too short, and conforming to cookie cutter standards and tropes will only lead to you being unhappy with yourself. My motto is do what makes you happy as long as you aren't hurting anyone. While I don't bother wasting time putting gender specific labels on things; I hate getting dirty, I don't really care for sports, I sleep with teddy bears, and I cry like a little baby watching cat videos and Pixar movies. But I'm still a guy, and that doesn't make me less of one because I'm not hyper masculine.

The only wrong way to be a man or a woman,in my opinion, is being a jerk who polices gender roles to other people; saying you aren't "really" a man/woman because you do a,b,c and not x,y,z. Y'know what I mean? I would say to do your best to ignore those people who shit on your good vibes and make you feel like you aren't a real woman because you don't connect with stereotypes.

 

You don't have to be stereotypical to transition. You can be whomever you want. I still want to play in a hockey league one day. Not competive at my age, but still.

YOU DO YOU!

 

There are masculine trans female and there feminine trans male.

Just think about it...can a cis female be masculine? Like sports? Play video games etc etc? If the answer is yes then the same applies for trans female.

So no, you do not have to stereotypical to identify as the gender you are.

I mean I'm trans male and read romance novels and watch dramas all day

 

Outside of my hairstyle the only thing that really changed was some gestures, my voice, and maybe 30% of my wardrobe. I'm still a hardcore gamer, got a Batman bed set last Christmas, collect swords, watch WWE pay-per-views at a bar with guys, sometimes only wear undershirts, and people still see and treat me like a chick. It's natural to feel pressured at first to feel like you have to fit some stereotypes. I did the whole over-killing being girly at first also and felt almost as fake as before I was out. My advice is just be yourself and adjust the little things you want. You don't have to change everything all at once, or really anything at all to conform to lame expectations. It's not the clothes or hobbies that makes your identity, it's what's in your mind and heart. And if anyone says otherwise they're just full of it. Besides, the cupcakes I baked yesterday while wearing a CM Punk T-Shirt and listening to heavy metal doesn't taste any different than if I wore some stupid pink dress.

 

I just wanted to comment on the video game bit.

Video games were never a "stereotypical" "male" thing growing up for me, neither are they stereotypically male things now. There is a growing number of female gamers in the world. Nobody is surprised by a girl gamer anymore.

 

In my family in the 90's it wasn't unusual. My mom played Dune 2 and Star Trek games, she still plays Dune 2.

Like I saud, it was not stereotypically a male thing for me growing up.

 

It's really about your body parts and how you feel socially. If you body is giving you dysphoria, and if you see that you would feel more comfortable being in a female role position then I'd say you're trans.

Your personality and stuff doesn't matter too much since that goes outside of gender and physical sex, clothes and the like is it's own issue. The need to transition (being trans) is again, feeling a physical discontent and then the inevitable social discontent resulting from it.

I play videogames professionally, I'm surrounded by men and very few women, but I know other girls who are the same. My mother beat all the Tomb Raiders, 100%ed fallout 3, new vegas, 4, and she loves the Elder Scrolls series (She played videogames before I was born, back when they were invented, and she taught me).

All these hobbies, traits, clothes etcetera are very separate from how you feel in your heart and how your body relates to you.

The BIGGEST thing is how 'natural' you'll feel. Transitioning is a very hard, often heartbreaking process, so if you're 'alright' enough right now it might be best to stay as you are, but that's a question of course only you can answer.

 

I know I should be transitioning, because popping the HRT pills is the only thing keeping me okay right now.

People just need to do their own thing is all.