I probably should have posted in vent thread, but honestly I think I need some direct re-assurance. I'm going home at the weekend, and I'm so panicked. Since starting at uni in September I've been presenting masculinely, and have been very comfortable. Dysphoria lessened a bit thanks to it. When I went home over Christmas it almost destroyed me, having to go back to presenting and acting how my family expect me to. Since coming back to uni after Christmas I've been even more comfortable with my identity, and have started coming out to even more people. I have pockets of people who know me only by my male name. Just in general I'm so much happier, and comfortable with who I am. I'm going to have to go back to wearing skirts this weekend, but more stressful is that I know I'm going to be smothered by over-use of my female name and parents referring to me as their 'girl', 'daughter' etc. I've had multiple panic attacks this week just thinking about it. I can't think of a way to worm out of the visit though. They've been expecting me to return on this specific weekend for at least a month. I can't cancel it. I don't know, any tips on how to cope (I know the dysphoria is going to be sickening)? I'm also really really really worried I'll kind of explode and come out to them at a really inappropriate time and in a really garbled messy way...
Would it be safe to come out to them? If there's a risk of you accidentally coming out to them because you couldn't tolerate the dysphoria, maybe it would be better to just plan it out and come out intentionally. Would it be possible for you to present more masculinely while at home? Even if they wouldn't be happy about it, maybe you could get away with claiming that you're feeling like more of a "tomboy" and want to dress more masculinely. That might make the misgendering at least a little more manageable. Otherwise, honestly it'll be hard, but you'll get through it. It's just one awful weekend and then you get to go back to being comfortable and being yourself.
