Dysphoria trying to overwrite orientation

I have experences like this all the time. Where you feel like you have to do something even if you don't really want to because you think that is what society wants. Guess what we both need to listen to my advice and screw society. Just go with what you really feel and what you need to do to be you

 

I agree. I've definitely had desires, often intensely, to be or have what society considers masculine when it may not reflect me at heart. I wanted to be jacked, have a really nice "package," get a girlfriend, be rebellious, drink, be into sports, and so forth.

Nothing wrong with wanting these things, because we want to be accepted or feel normal. But in the end what is important is to be authentic. And that does not mean, necessarily, fitting perfectly into society's mould.

Me, at heart, would be a somewhat gay, somewhat asexual guy. I like to dress nice and can cook really well. I fanboy over anime and get excited about swimming. I can seem pretty intense or philosophical at times, but I'm usually pretty tame. I practice yoga and am a vegetarian. I'd like to get a flower tattoo. I deeply appreciate art and music. I don't have a dick, but I'm still male. Some of these things might not be "manly" but I've learned that it is okay. Respecting yourself and learning to love your quirks is ultimately far more satisfying than chasing a silly ideal.

 

I have experienced something similar. I do find men and women and nonbinary people attractive. However, I think I would really struggle with dating a man because that would make me "the woman" in the relationship in most people's eyes. I am also worried I could be pushed into more of a stereotypical female role when dating a man. I know this depends on the person I date, but this doesn't stop me from worrying about it.

So yes, I think it's normal to have these thoughts. Kodo summed up how to deal with them perfectly