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Is it normal to question yourself?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by dyl pickle, Feb 28, 2017.

  1. dyl pickle

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    Is it normal to question yourself often because I DO THAT A LOT

    not to the extent where i have ever thought "i am a girl" because nOPE that was hard even typing that. i am a boy and that is how i feel. however, i tend to question myself whenever i'm reminded that "trans is trendy" or that i'm only 14 and it's "normal to feel uncomfortable with the changes in your body" etc. it always makes me freak out but my birth name and she/her pronouns cause me so much pain that i know i can't possibly be female, and nb seems like "such a hassle", which I really don't think i'd have a problem with going through the hassle if i truly felt nb. i always feel like i come back full circle to male after reasoning with myself but idk. maybe it's some internal wish to be "normal"? but i'm proud of who i am. maybe it's because my dad hates me for it?

    whooooo sorry for the long rant (and my super childish sounding typing, i'm half asleep because i had a rough day at school). any similar feelings or any words of advice? :help:
     
  2. tranonymous

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    Now I'm not an expert, but a lot of the other transfok on this site have told me that it's totally normal to be uncertain.
     
  3. matt4907

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    It's definitely normal to question yourself. I've felt male since I was very young. I think it's possible for you to know no matter how young you are. And it's definitely okay to not know for sure what your gender identity is. I've been identifying as nb for a couple years now but I'm just starting to transition to male. I'd suggest just using whichever pronouns make you feel more comfortable. Even though I'm beginning to identify as a trans man I still question myself pretty often but at the end of the day I feel most comfortable as a male.
     
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  4. Kodo

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    In short, yes.

    I have been up and down in the questioning phases, often to the point of denying I was trans altogether. However, the steady assurance that I am indeed male always seeps back into my mind. It helps, I think, to ask yourself questions. For example, what would your body look like if you could magically change it to any sex (male, female, or neither)? What pronouns would you go by if all pronouns were equally accepted in society?

    Though perhaps the most unequivocal proof to myself that I am trans is rooted in how I would envision my future self. Always it was as a guy, and if I envisioned myself as a middle-aged woman one day it made me literally nauseous. Not that I have any issue with women, it just isn't me. And also, I would ask the following... Given what you know about yourself, does it make more sense for you to be a boy or a girl? Or maybe, would you rather wish to be neither and just identify as a person without gender?
     
  5. clockworkfox

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    Cis or trans, questioning your gender is normal.

    What helps is to ask yourself, "does this feel right? why?" or "does this feel wrong? why?" Or even the ever cliched "where do I see myself in five years? in ten years?" Giving yourself the opportunity to question freely without any preconceived notions or pressures about rightness or wrongness, and to figure out these answers freely for yourself, can clear up any doubts.
     
  6. BradThePug

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    Even to this day, there are still times where I question myself. I think that it is pretty normal to go through. Sometimes, these periods can even be beneficial because you learn more about yourself in the process. So, I would try to take some time to learn and understand what makes you question yourself. Sometimes, that can be something that is really helpful.
     
  7. dyl pickle

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    Thank you so much everyone, these all really helped. I especially agree with the whole thing about questioning yourself but always coming back to male. I appreciate all the responses :slight_smile:

    ((also, BradTheCat, the gif in your signature is amazing I can't stop staring))