Not sure if this is the right section to post this in but here it goes. My story is I got depressed after high school ending and having to go to college. I didn’t make friends easily and didn’t feel as though I really fit in. Then I dropped out of college went home to county college succeeded for a little while there then dropped out again due to depression and overwhelming anxiety about my future and how I was going to be successful. Then, upon being depressed for some time (about 5 months) of serious depression, through that time I have found that I am attracted sexually to males. This is extremely hard for me because it makes no sense at all to me. I have been in therapy for this whole time and it hasn’t helped me at all. I wonder why!? Because I haven’t been talking about the real underlying issue; sexuality. The biggest bitch of all time. Now I am stuck, completely stuck living in a world of lies. I have to lie, even to myself because I am so confused, about everything involving sexuality. I still view myself with a beautiful, hot, sexy as hell, blonde women. I do not see myself with a man! Period. Do I have gay thoughts sometimes? Yeah I guess. But I’m not like “oh my god I want to fuck him so bad!” Whereas when I was younger I would have plenty of these thoughts about women and thoroughly get turned on, A LOT, by women. I can’t seem to get turned on much anymore by women, or men for that matter, so wtf!? I’m so confused by all of this. Am I gay? I really have no clue what I am. Here’s a couple things as well: I have tried on my sisters panties and thongs and it turns me on wearing them. Does this mean I might be on the course to being transgender!? My life is an utter wreck of confusion right now and I really hope someone else on here has had or knows somebody who is in a similar situation. Plus on top of all of this, my dad may have cancer. So now I have the thoughts going around in my head do I tell him what I’m going through in my head before it’s too late? My life seems like it is going downhill quicker than I can even keep up with. I am utterly lost. I’m just really looking for any type of advice here..
It is hard to say by your post. You could be bisexual since you seem to acknowledge feelings for both sexes. As to being trans*, can you see yourself being entirely the other sex? Physically. Also, do you feel emotionally and mentally like the other sex? Trying on your sister's underthings and being aroused could be a sign that you are partially a cross dresser. You would have to try on more women's apparel to test that theory out of course. Maybe this will be a spring board for you to think on. These sorts of feelings take a long time for some people to process. Don't worry about it too much...like getting an answer right away. It will come. Sebby45
