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I don't know

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by kawaiipotato1, Mar 4, 2017.

  1. kawaiipotato1

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    london
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm unsure of my gender / expression... I like dressing as a guy and I use he/his pronouns. But people ask me what my gender is and I'm always so confused about what I should say. Am I a girl? Am I a guy? I get so upset and worried that it makes me want to cry. I'm insecure in my body...( biologically female). I dress in guys clothes and I wear guy things. I have a short haircut because I don't know what to do anymore.
    It's really affecting me in school and everything because I'm always so worried about my gender and what should I say next.
    Is there anything I should research to help me?
     
  2. squares

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Madison, WI
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Do you have any way to see a therapist? They might be able to help you out with figuring out some of your doubts/uncertainties. I understand it's not always an option to be able to go to therapy, though.

    Only you will be able to figure out what your gender is. A lot of self-reflection and thought is needed to understand our genders, and even then sometimes we don't fully get it. It seems like you're already sort of living as "male". Does this feel "right" to you? Or does it feel off when you get called he/him? It could be that you're gender neutral and simply like to present masculine. Do you feel in any way that you would like to identify as a girl? Like, just be a masculine presenting female?

    It sucks to have to hide behind a gender you don't feel comfortable in. If you trust the people who are asking, you could always tell them that you simply don't know, and maybe that you'd prefer to be addressed with more neutral pronouns like they/them. I know a lot of people don't understand they/them pronouns and are obsessed with needing a definitive answer. But at the end of the day, it's not really their business, and it's not effecting their life anyway.

    Posting and researching here on the forum can help you a lot with possible doubts and confusions. A lot of people have gone/ are going through the same thing.