Hi! I realized that I was trans fairly recently, and up until then I was out as a lesbian. It's been several years since I first came out, and since then I have felt less and less attraction to women. I now identify as asexual, because I have never really felt that kind of attraction towards anyone, though I hadn't heard the term until about a year ago. Up until recently I thought I was still romantically interested in women and only women, but the two relationships I have had with girls have both turned out weird. The first one was with a really close friend, we were practically dating already, just not formally. And once we started going out formally, I realized that I had really liked what we had before and didn't want things to change even though she did, so that one ended badly. The second one, (which I am still in) is with another asexual person. I didn't know her very well before we started going out, and now that it's been close to a year I definitely do. I really love her, but I don't think I'm in love with her. I feel more like we're close friends than anything else, and we're ok with that. Ok, now to my actual question: When I started thinking I was a lesbian, I had zero idea that I was trans. I'm not a very feminine looking person so I looked pretty much exactly the same as my male peers until about a year and a half ago, which is when I started to get dysphoria. It's gotten progressively worse since then, and it coincides with the decline of my romantic interest in girls. It's like I could imagine being with a girl when I thought that I was one, and now I can't anymore. I've been wondering a lot lately hat it would be like to be with another guy, and I think I would like that. So has this kind of thing happened to anyone else? I wonder if my orientation has changed since I've come to terms with my gender identity. I'm not looking for a label, at this point I don't really care anymore and I'm just rolling with it, but if anyone has gone through something similar and has advice for me that would be awesome.
Mine has kinda been the opposite, I guess. Before I knew I was trans, I was openly willing to admit I thought guys (celebs usually) were good looking and reluctant to admit I had similar thoughts about girls, but it was purely acceptance that they were good looking and not actual attraction. I never really understood what sexual and romantic attraction felt like, because I never wanted it and never met someone who changed that. Until I started university and eventually met someone (AFAB, who later came out as non binary). We never dated, just became good friends, and the idea of a romantic relationship with them soon died because they just became a person I wanted in my life not a partner. So I still don't really know where I am in terms of orientation, I'm just rolling with it like you. But I tend to go with bisexual right now, because since accepting I'm trans I've grown more open to the possibility of being with someone of any gender with a preference, I guess, for males and bi is a label most people understand when they ask.
