Ok guys, I haven't been on this website a lot, but I've been thinking about my gender identity recently. So, I've finally decided to come out here first. I'm transgender (mtf) So I never really was a very masculine baby/toddler, growing up with two sisters and all, and when I went to school, I never really had any male friends, and I found it more comfortable to talk to girls rather than boys. When I was around 6ish, I started thinking about whether I could be a girl or not, but eventually I forgot about those thoughts and resumed my life as a happy male child. Fast forward about 7 years or so, when I started secondary school, and I met new friends and all that. When I was in primary school, everyone was super catholic and wasn't really into the whole idea of being gay or anything. So I was surprised to find some friends who were generally ok with it whenever we had these conversations at lunch or whatever. That's when I started really thinking about my gender identity. I tried dressing a little more feminine, took up some more "feminine" interests and grew out my hair. This weekend, I've thought about my gender identity loads, and I've come to the realisation that I'm trans. This is the first place I've come out, and I'd love some support and advice for coming out to others, especially my family. The people who have helped me come to this realisation are as follows (just as a special thank you I guess): My older sister, my older sister's friend (you know who you are), the very special Gerard Way, who made me realise that transgender is actually a thing, and a my sister's friend's friend (who is also my friend I guess)(&&&)
Hi stardustmcj Great that you've found out who you are! By coming out to yourself you've already taken the first step towards coming out to others. A lot of people say it is also the hardest and after you have accepted yourself it is way easier to come out to others. That being said, I'd advise you to first come out to someone you trust and are sure will be supportive. Your friends sound accepting. If you have told your sister and some friends about struggling with your gender identity (not sure if you have from what you've written) they might be a good start. I wish you all the best!
Hello and welcome to the gender identity forum. It's really brave of you to come out, even here where you didn't think you knew anyone. Everyone here is really lovely and I'm pretty sure your sister will be supportive (she puts up with me at any rate and I'm a huge mess). I'm sending lots of love and courage to you; feel free to talk to me whenever about whatever because like Quinn said it's always good to have someone - trust me on that. No matter what the "thing" is it's always relieving to have someone that you can trust with anything. Sometimes they're there at the front of your mind and sometimes they can someone who surprises you. . Just a feeling but I think you may be tackled in a big hug from me next time I see you. Can't be sure but I just thought I'd tell you in advance so you can be prepared ~ love from Me
As for coming out to others it depends on the kind of person you are, me I like writing stuff down so I came out to the people that I was closest to with a letter (I have pictures of them if you want to maybe get ideas on the kinds of thing to say. I did ramble a little bit though. Okay maybe I rambled a lot) and other people - mainly from school - with an Instagram post. I like letters because they're personal but still let you leave them for the other person to read, digest, re-read, evaluate their feelings and then talk about it. I didn't like that talking bit because I don't like talking about my feelings face to face. There's people here who say their family down and told them, people who emailed or text the person. In the end it depends on what you're comfortable doing. I tried to tell Cara in person but I was too scared to (feelings you see. I don't like talking about them) do I wrote her a letter. In person my mind goes blank and I start rambling, stumbling over my words and/or talking so fast that no one catches what I've said. By writing it I was able to think about what I wanted to say and say it in a manner that was understandable. If you wanted to do it face to face then it might be an idea to write a list of what you want to say and then you can check back at it to cover everything. I know I forget what I'm trying to say when I'm nervous so having it written down helps. Good luck, Cal
Hey everyone, thanks for all the support! I forgot to mention that my new pronouns are she/they. Thanks so much guys! You all really are the best(!)
That's super awesome! I'm glad to hear you're figuring yourself out. I too come from a really catholic life so if you wanna talk about anything regarding that I'm here for ya.
