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I'm so confused, please help

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by ollconfused, Mar 5, 2017.

  1. ollconfused

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    Hi, my name is Ollie and I'm super confused about my gender. I've gone back and forth on identifying as genderfluid but I can't help but think to myself "you're not genderfluid". I definitely know I'm more masculine than feminine, but there are times I want to wear makeup and do more "traditionally feminine" things but I don't really think my gender identity changes. For a couple years I've thought I'm ftm, but part of me thinks I keep denying it because I'm scared or maybe I don't completely think I could be for some reason. I don't know I'm just SUPER confused and if anyone has any advice I'd be super appreciative
     
  2. MisterMissy

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    Hi Ollie. Lovely to have a Mettaton fan around.

    I consider myself genderfluid, but perhaps not as strongly as others. My sexuality is far more up in the air than my gender association. I also don't think my gender identity shifts day by day, week by week, or comes in waves, but rather is something I choose to change depending on the situation. If I am safer acting masculine, then I'll act like the guy I was born as, but if I'm at home, or with friends who don't mind a more flamboyant or prettied up version of me, then I let my femininity sing proudly. Perhaps this is more what Bi-gender means, so I may need to look into that. And it's not just in attitude either. My choice of clothes will be widely different too, or at least that's what I'm trying to do with my closet of options.

    In your case, I would ask yourself when does the male part of you come out, how often, and how strongly? Does it have a trigger? Is it more about the way you think and act, or the way you physically feel; as if your body is alien to you?

    If after some more thought it is at least very likely that you are genderfluid, then I would advise against becoming FTM, because part of you may regret it. Instead, building a wardrobe and routine to facilitate the different sides of yourself would be the safer route. There are also less dramatic surgeries you may choose to do to minimize your given body, In case your breast size is overbearing but you dont want to remove it entirely, or to add masculine features that can be emphasized when your not in female mode.

    I'm no expert on these matters, but these are my best suggestions.
     
    #2 MisterMissy, Mar 5, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 5, 2017
  3. GayNurse95

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    I'll try to make it simple.
    Do you feel more at peace as a man or as a woman?
    Do you feel any discomfort with the notion as being seen, addressed and recognized as a female?
    Do you feel any discomfort at the notion as being seen, addressed and recognized as a man?
    Are you comfortable as being a female with masculine traits? Keep in mind that gender variance is a normal thing. No one is going to fit the picture of being perfectly male or female. It has become more accepted for women to be more masculine. If you are okay with being a woman who is masculine, then that's cool.
    If you feel that you are a man inside and want to be at peace with yourself by living as a man (both role wise and by name), then that's okay.
    I would recommend seeing a school counselor about this. More often than not, they'll have training regarding situations like these.
    Hope this helps.
     
  4. ollconfused

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    ---------- Post added 7th Mar 2017 at 08:05 PM ----------

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    I think the only discomfort I have as being seen as a man is other people. I imagine a lot of scenarios in my head where I do transition and I constantly see men that make me think "I want to look like them." I'm just big on how other people view and think of me

    ---------- Post added 7th Mar 2017 at 08:06 PM ----------

    thank you lol, undertale is my favorite game.

    I think I'm masculine 80% of the time, the other 20% I feel more agender. I wear boxers and bind constantly, and I look at men all the time and can't help a little voice in my head saying "I want to look like them".

    Thank you for your advice :slight_smile:
     
    #4 ollconfused, Mar 7, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 7, 2017