so hi, so I'm new here and I'd like to apologize already for any spelling mistakes or if my sentences do not make any sense (not a native speaker) so I'm pan and I've known since I'm 12 (14 now) but this year I've been questioning myself a lot and thinking am i trans or not? because I've never felt like a girl really, i've had of course my girly phase because i wanted to be cool but i later realized its not me and it didn't make me comfortable, i prefer wearing guy stuff, when i have really short hair. i prefer anything "masculine" (sorry i'm really new to all this and i'm not trying to judge... about gender roles...) and so of course i talked about it to some people trying to figure myself out. i even tried the label Gender-fluid but it just didn't seem right. so idk help i guess?
Hi elboman and welcome to ec! First of all: Don't be afraid to any questions you have on here. We're not experts on gender topics and no one is going to bite your head off if you don't know how to phrase something. It's great that you had the courage to talk about your questioning process with some friends of yours! It's incredibly helpful to have someone you can trust to talk about these things. To figure yourself out, you could start by asking yourself some questions: Do you want to be perceived as male by others? Do you want that constantly or just sometimes? Would you like your body to be different? In which ways? Why do you like wearing men's clothes and having short hair? Because they make you look more masculine or because you just like the clothes? As you have already talked to some people about your questioning process, you could also ask them to refer to you by different pronouns or a different name and see how that makes you feel. I know it's really hard, but try not to think too much about what label suits you. Instead, focus on how you want to be perceived and treated. That can give you a lot of clues about who you are. Then it will be much easier to pick a label, if you want to pick one. All the best and don't hesitate to ask if you have more questions.
hey thanks yeah so i did try pronouns like he/him and idk it feels right. when someone doesn't know me and calls me a boy it gives me joy somehow and i hate when people call me by my name or gurl/girl or she/her but idk its just something. and yes idk i hate my body id rather have a flat chest, muscles... than breast... i just don't like my body. and i like having short hair and wearing guy stuff cus its me? its what makes me feel like me. so haha yes thanks a lot btw i think this will help me loads
My question would be that does being female make you feel miserable or uncomfortable in anyway? Are you comfortable being seen as female? Think about these carefully. You are pretty young and hormones can be a bit finicky. Also keep in mind that not all females are feminine. It's normal for people to not fit gender norms in more progressive countries. Still ask yourself those questions and think about them carefully. Talk to a school counselor for help. More often than not, they'll have an ally sticker on their doors. Be honest and talk with them as well. You have come to a good place to ask us as well. Hope this helps.
Try not to think about gendered things like clothing too much. I'm a dude and I fucking love makeup and heels. That doesn't make me a girl! Think about how you feel on the inside. I asked myself if I would be okay living my life as a girl forever, and my answer was no because I knew I was pushing something down. Also, I didn't experience really obvious and bad dysphoria until much later in puberty which I think is worth noting as you're still younger.
