so hi again, i posted a thing a couple of days ago and i would like to thank the people that answered anyways i thought about the things the questions and i think i am a boy but i would hate to rush things honestly, i hate change, mostly that at my school we already bullied me for being trans or whatever and how i should die cus im trans (because i have short hair) but i dont know how to know exactly, like i feel like i need a sign or something or someone to tell me, and so im dying inside. also like last night i had a dream about all this and i was trans and i came out to my mom and gosh she was so happy and so i dont really remember what happened but i remember she had made an appointment to have top surgery (even tho im 14, I KNOW it doesnt make sense) and so i did and i was so happy to be a boy, be seen as boy, i was crying and when i woke up i stated crying some more because i loved it, i loved that flat chest and my body and i loved that i was a boy. and also someone at my school commented how i looked like a boy today and jeez it was the best moment of my day but i hate myself cus im scared its no real that its a phase or something. and idk i just feel bad as a girl or people misgendering me for a girl but anyways thanks
Hi I haven't seen your previous post, but what you are saying here has made me think a bit... I understand how terrible uncertainty can feel (even though I feel uncertain not regarding the same thing..). One way or the other, you said you are 14 right? You do not need to define who you are now as if you were forced to choose and stick with your decision forever:')... I understand that school does play an important part in how you see yourself, because what people say does influence us (maybe even unconsciously). I can only tell you to try ignoring such idiots who bully you. Hate is sometimes a reaction some people develop when they don't understand something (yes, it is totally illogical and non justified, but it is NOT your fault<3 and you do not need to act diferently becuase of them). Just try acting natural, be whatever you feel like being (without the necessity of choosing between only two options already). The most important thing you need to know is that there is no need to be scared at all. You'll figure it out<3 __________ As a body everone is single, as a soul never. -Hermann Hesse.
I second what FlowerOfLife said. I'm in the same boat as you (literally the exact same situation) and I have plenty of moments where I'm doubting myself or worrying that it's a phase. However, I think it's normal for everyone to worry and doubt, but for me it sounds like a big influence for you is school. It's gonna be tough because people suck, but never let that affect you and your decisions. Even if it is "a phase", it's what seems to make you happy right now. I find I tend to freak out when I think about it too much and I'm starting to just try to focus on living.
