I just need someone to know.

Sigh. Yes that is dysphoria. You know the word so you have pretty much figured out what it means too. And I am sure you have delved into the irony of having what many others would just give their left arm for.. and yet not wanting it yourself. Grr!

That's your third paragraph. The problem. I have to say the second paragraph gives hope. You feel the way you feel and don't feel bad about it. You can express/dress/present however you want. You're in pretty good shape there (in case you didn't know it.) Except for those boobs...

Of course you know that obsessing about something just makes it "grow" (figuratively) way bigger. What activities/thoughts/experiences make you forget about your chest completely? Yeah it's a downer when you remember "oh, those things!" and it all comes back, but during the interval (music? dance? exercise? meditation?) the problem was gone. Maybe do more of those things.

In the longer term, there is reduction surgery. Personally I'm scared of the knife but the ops get better and better each year.

Have a better day!

 

There is info about binding on this site, just have to look around for it a bit. Look in the Gender Identity and Expression part.

And while exercising and losing weight won't fix everything. Being able to be healthy and active will help you feel a little better about yourself. Sometimes it is the little victories that lift up the spirits more than we think.

Keep in mind that you can still dress in a masculine way even without binding or surgery. I understand it will not be perfect, but with the exercising it will be a step in the right direction. A few little wins here and there add up to big wins later on.

Lastly, keep you head up and know that you are not alone in how you feel. There are people that have been thru it before and can help you. It will get better, just keep hanging in there.

 

Hi Fulldarknostars. I have small boobs which I also hate. When I was younger I used to get teased mercilessly. There were times when I thought if I had bigger boobs maybe I would feel better about being born a woman.

I have now realised that my disconnection is due the fact I feel no gender at all. I'm am going to change my name to something neutral, however over the last few days I've been wondering about whether I could get a mastectomy.

Until recently I had thought about the idea because of a tattoo I want. What I want would go from my collarbone to my waist and quite frankly boobs would get in the way.

Now I've realised I'm agender, again I find myself thinking about it. Though I always swore to myself I would never get an operation unless it was absolutely necessary. So now I'm left wondering if my mental well-being would improve if they were removed.

Well done on your weight loss progress. It might be a good idea to talk your feelings through with a psychologist just to work out which may be the best path for you to take.

You are not alone. Feel free to post on my wall if you ever need to talk.

 

There is nothing wrong with how you feel and no need to feel stupid. You're not rambling and you're not being weird. You're hurting.

And yes you can be non-binary and bi/gay.

I wish I could give you a hug. I am so sorry this is causing you so much distress. And I know how sometimes our own thoughts are our worst enemy.

If you ever need to talk please post on my wall. I'll see it quicker than a reply to a thread.

 

I'm also very large breasted and have a difficult time embracing my male half because of it. No amount of binding can hide these girls (G-cup). I'm having breast reduction done so that I can still have D boobs to keep my female half happy, but so that I can be small enough to effectively bind so I can make my male half happy.

I have straight hips, like a guy. For a long time I let myself get really fat because it gave me the illusion of hips. I'm now on a 130-pound weight loss plan (almost halfway there!) and I plan to wear padded underwear to give me hips when my girl needs them.

Yes, there are ways to make it work when you're non-binary. It's not as satisfying as I imagine being able to be all male or all female. but I'm starting to come to terms with this middle ground where I live. It's not my ideal, but it works for me at the moment.

 

I stumbled across this website on google and found this thread and honestly it's like I could have written it myself. I have been struggling with all these same feelings more or less for ... I don't even know how long now? The only difference is I don't mind my breasts - I feel the way you do about your breasts, but about my vag.

Anyway, I wish I had some advice to offer but I don't, I guess I just wanted to sympathise and reach out to someone who sounds like they're going through pretty similar feelings

Good luck on your journey

 

Disliking your chest does not necessarily mean you are trans. I think there are plenty of cis women with large breasts that would much prefer they be smaller and experience distress because of it. Not that I'm saying you aren't trans, especially if one of your reasons for disliking your chest is that it makes you look "female". That if definitely an indicator. If you also have other issues towards your assigned gender you may very well be trans*. That being said, you can bind even if you aren't trans if it would make you feel better about yourself. Even if you decide to bind before you're sure of your gender, you could probably justify it by saying they get in the way or are uncomfortable or you don't like people staring.

 

So I can relate to being not always female and not always male... or not being sure... So I identify as bigender.... and how i figured it out was tracking how I felt each day for a while... like what gender I am I today...? and then also asking the question if I were female only for the rest of my life would I be happy? if i was suddenly male tomorrow in a man's body would I be happy? would I be happy identifying as androgyne? For me I couldn't see myself as just female, male or androgyne/both genders at once... for me I fluctuate and I have to navigate that. I also asked myself if i had ever felt female.


For dysphoria (male specifically) I try to accept my body and remind myself that whatever I am feeling my body looks like is true (your mental map of what you body looks like)... also I try to not focus or just ignore my boobs...

 

Honestly, I'm pretty lucky that my body is already fairly androgynous, so a baggy hoodie and jeans just-a-little-too-big have always been my armor. This last summer, I started binding a little bit here and there, wondering if it would relieve some of the feelings. It didn't, because my feelings aren't focused on my chest, but I do still enjoy binding from time to time. I just started quietly doing it without mentioning it to anyone, and though some people did notice, no one pressed me too hard for questions? I'm very careful who I bind around, however.

Also recently my partner and I started exploring with strapons, and actually that has been very good for a sense of relief. I'm considering purchasing a packer.

Mostly though I just lay down and tell myself it's not "real" dysphoria and wait for it to pass. I'm trying to get over this however bc I realize it's a shitty, harmful mindset to have and I need to stop holding myself to different standards as I do others.

I also changed my name, even while I still identified as cis. This was also a big part of relieving some discomfort, as my name was very naturally feminine. Some people in my life were resistant at first, but many came around and agreed the new name fits much better. Strangers have had an easier time remembering it too.