I fairly recently came to the realisation that I am non-binary and wish to change my name. Currently my name is Kimberley Joy -surname- but am thinking about changing my name to Cody Rebekah Clayton (different parent surname) I really like the way this name sounds but am curious about others opinions. Also do you think it's a good idea to tell my family as it was only recently when I finally came out to them as being a lesbian (still my preferred term despite not identifying with a binary gender as I feel it still remains the best way to describe myself)
Telling family of a name change is always difficult. Parents chose the names they loved for whatever reason - family names, personal preferences, symbolism for something. Their children's birth names have heavy meaning to them. I hate my birth name, even though my mom very carefully gave me names that were aurally unisex (by spelling you can tell the gender, sorta), but she was coming from a point of feminism and protecting me from discrimination. But the name is clunky and wrong for me. But because she is so attached to my name and its meaning for her, I'll never change my name. That, and it's too hard to change the world full of paperwork. I keep my personal name for myself. I just can't imagine a lifetime of correcting people who have known me by my birth name for nearly 50 years.
First off, I love it. I think that name sounds really cool, and if you like it and think it fits that's great! When I told my mom I wanted to change my name she was a little sad but not really surprised and in the end she didn't care much. She really likes the name I picked, too and my chosen name actually has way more meaning to both of us than my birth name does. I think that my situation is pretty rare though. As far as when to tell your family, that depends on how you think they'll react and how soon you are planning to change it legally (If you are). It also depends on how they reacted to your coming out. If you want them to start calling you Cody you could ask them to do that without telling them you plan to change it right away. That would give you an indication of how they might react to a legal name change and it would also give you some time to get used to the name and decide for sure that it's the one you want.
