I'm new to this website so I'm hoping it will be helpful. I was born a female but I really don't know who I am anymore. Recently I have started questioning my gender identity. I feel more comfortable dressing in baggy t-shirts and jeans than I do in a dress and I don't feel the need nor do I want to shave my legs. I feel like I would be happy if I got top surgery (or at least a binder to begin with) because I think I would feel more comfortable with a flat chest. I think I want to get my hair cut in a typically 'male' style but am not 100% sure on that yet. I do also sometimes feel okay wearing dresses or typically 'feminine' clothing but normally don't choose to dress that way. Some times it's worse than others but it's just always there in the back of my mind and I don't know what to do. Also, when I look at a guy/guy couple I feel as if I want a relationship like that but don't really get the same feeling with other relationships. I would really love it if anyone has any advice on what I might be or how I could work it out.
Welcome to EC! There are a lot of people here who are going through something similar to you and I hope we'll be able to help you a bit. First of all, you should know that only you can figure out what gender you are. We can give you advice on how to do that and share our experience, but in the end it's up to you. Another thing to keep in mind is that there is a difference between gender identity and gender expression. Gender identity is who you are and gender expression is how you present. You can dress in what society views as masculine clothes, have short hair and still be a girl. To find out about your gender identity you could start by asking yourself why you want to wear baggy shirts and jeans and have short hair. Is it because it makes you look more masculine or because you think you look better in it or is there another reason? More questions that might help you to figure out your gender identity: How do you feel when people refer to you as a girl or use female pronouns? Does it make you uncomfortable? Maybe try to write a paragraph about yourself using other pronouns. How do these make you feel? If you could change your body to a male one: Would you do it? Would you like to be perceived as male all the time? Or would you just like to change certain aspects of your body to look more androgynous? These are a few things to start with. If you have more questions, you can always ask!
