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My relationship with my AGAB

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Casey221B, Mar 23, 2017.

  1. Casey221B

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    So this is kind of weird. I'm pretty secure in being bigender for now, but I still kind of want a connection with being a girl.

    Like I feel like until recently, I was a girl, it's not like I was bigender/nonbinary since I was a kid. So, being a girl previously is a big part of who I am I think.

    To explain this, I could say that I'm woman-aligned, but I don't feel feminine at all, so I don't really feel like it fits.

    Another thing is I kind of feel like it's not previously being a girl that's important to me, it's being AFAB. Like being AFAB is a big part of identity.

    So I'm not sure how to go about explaining this in my gender, or if I should.
     
  2. Cailan

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    I'm the same. I am deeply connected with being female, yet I also want certain physical male traits to match my guy side. I don't want to give up one for the other. I want both!

    I plan to transition physically, with bottom surgery, but not top surgery, and I will continue living as a woman. It's a bizarre thing, being bi-gender. I much prefer my outward female identity; the aesthetics of the self are far more pleasing and so are the clothes. Also, I figure I'd be as awkward trying to live fully male as I am in my feminine body trying to live as a full female. A full transition wouldn't make things better. Just differently awkward.

    That's both the beauty and pain of being bi-gender. You don't have to give up either one. You can do your own thing.
     
  3. StormyVale

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    Casey221B, I understand why you would want to say that as part of your identity. But does it matter one way or the other if you identify that? I mean if you are dating someone or doing a dating site thing than yeah sure putting both your birth gender and bigender would make sense. But for daily life I feel like bigender is fine.

    Cailan I totally agree that partial transition feels like the right thing to do... I don't know if that is ever a route I would want, but only time will tell.

    In general bigender doesn't negate being a girl or female when you were born because that is based on your external anatomy. Bigender means you are acknowledging the potential to move between the two genders you identify with. I do sometimes consider putting AFAB as another label on my profile for EC. I feel like it helps others to understand where I am coming from when I say AFAB because they can understand some general assumptions based on assigned gender roles.I feel like that is the only reason to specify... Each of us are socialized differently growing up based on our assigned gender, so obviously it helps others relate when we say where we came from and are going to or ended at.
     
  4. Lacybi

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    So I'm a demiboy most of the time but I will sometimes call myself a girl. That's okay, it's okay for me, an afab transmasculine person, to refer to myself as a girl but it's NOT okay for anyone else. The fact that I spent the first 15 years of my life failing at being a girl is important to me, sometimes I like to hide my birth name and my agab but often I will say that I'm afab, that I'm still called olivia by 90% of people who know me. That's an important part of who I am because I think if I was born male I wouldn't have realised that I'm nonbinary yet for the simple reason that my gender is so close to male a lot of the time.