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FTM & feeling like no one will ever love me or find me desirable

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Whatismylife, Mar 24, 2017.

  1. Whatismylife

    Whatismylife Guest

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    So im FTM but im also gay but Im really worried and sad about it because I feel like no one will ever love me. Seeing as Im gay I want to date men but I am worried no one will ever want me because of my genitalia. All over the internet and in real life most people & in my experience especially gay men say they will never date or be with a trans guy because of want they are lacking and I know that its just what they are attracted to but it still makes me feel really depressed and hopeless & often makes me think maybe I should just suck it up and be a girl. Im just worried that no one will ever love me, I just want to be normal:icon_sad::icon_sad:
     
  2. Aviator

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    Go for the bi ones. You can't go wrong with the bi ones my bro.

    I'm sure everything will turn out fine in the end, just keep hanging on.

    Wow. My advice is topnotch. Hahahahahahahelpme
     
  3. Yasha of XMETAS

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    Dude, I know how you feel :frowning2: I'm trans dude and gay, and I also fear that's what most guy's responses are going to be to me if I show an interest. Even if I would get strap ons or special FTM pleasure wear, I still would feel inadequate for them. And with all my other problems of social anxiety and many other issues I have I doubt I will ever find a boyfriend who will love me as the MAN I know I am.

    But we can't give up either. You ARE worth it, and if a man or anyone can't see that then they're not worth your time in the first place. You will find the right guy who will love you as the man you are, and treat you as you deserve to be treated.

    Never give up hope, there's someone out there for the both of us. *bro hug*
     
  4. Kodo

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    You are not normal. But let me tell you something, brother. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

    There are people who will date transguys. Bisexual men, some gay men, and other transguys who are gay like you. It isn't a lost cause. The important thing is to be authentic and extend the same kindness to others you would hope someone would extend to you. Love and respect yourself first. The right guy will come in time.

    You are not alone.
     
  5. Rickystarr

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    Not everyone will be into it, but just be upfront about it right away and you won't have to bother with those who aren't.
     
  6. Cadi04

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    if i could give you guys my penis i would, if it would help =)

    ---------- Post added 25th Mar 2017 at 04:47 AM ----------

    But I also feel sometimes sex is not everything. You will find a way if they really love you back.
     
  7. Daydreamer1

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    I understand your fears.

    When I was still in high school, my boyfriend at the time (who is now my partner) split up and I felt totally lost and unsure if someone would ever love me again. Before we got back together, I had some gay guys hit on me and it felt so rewarding; especially since I was uncomfortable with my appearance, being short and having "metalhead" hair. We never went on to have a relationship or anything, since we didn't have any real similar interests, but one guy in particular was open about telling me how much he had a crush on me--almost like a puppy.

    I was super insecure at the time about being trans, so when I asked him if he knew that I made it clear in my bio that I'm trans (just to get the baggage out of the way since I know how people can be). He said he did, and that he didn't care. At first, I was afraid that he was one of those creepy chasers, but looking back, he seemed genuine in being attracted to me for who I was as a person. I won't get into the more NSFW discussions, but I'll just leave it at I'm sure he genuinely saw me as "one of the guys".

    Try not to be so hard on yourself. I'm one of those dreamers who believes there's someone for everyone out there, and that love will find you in the weirdest places. It's a hard thing to come to grips with about how, for some people, the things we can't control or help are turnoffs. But for every person like that, there's someone who will embrace you as a complete package deal--loving you for who you are and all the things you see as imperfections and flaws. Don't be so quick to give up on love, because you are normal. You're perfect just the way you are, and going back in the closet only hurts you and your truth more.
     
  8. Odahingum

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    There's nothing inherently undesirable in an FTM body. Three months ago I married the love of my life, who happens to be FTM.
     
  9. DirkStrider01

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    I feel the same way. I am Trans and Asexual, and feel like I'll never find anyone who would accept me.
     
  10. Foxfeather

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    Trans guy and I look like a lesbian. Not planning on transitioning. I've come to feel that my androgyny isn't unattractive at all. In fact, some women are curious about trans guys and soft butches, they just don't have a way of expressing their emotions yet because they've been closeted for so long. I don't want to be -cute- when I can be -hot- or -omgerd-, but I've got features, feminine or androgynous, that people've pointed out as attractive. You've got those features, too.

    I know a lot of trans guys are huge on looking male and passing, but that jsut creates a poor mockery of natural maleness. I've got "nice" lips and "nice" eyes and "beautiful" hands. I'll take that and rock it. Even if I don't pass. For me, the more I worry about how I wasn't born male, the more withdrawn and less confident I behave, and that doesn't help me in teh dating game. It's when I learn to embody my own gender, my own uniqueness, that I can flaunt my best features.
     
  11. SchizoBurrito13

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    This is what I think about every day, I live in a group home for girls, and they usually pester me that i'll probably never find someone who would love or even care about me

    but i have hope, and so should you, and everyone else who feels like this
     
  12. bringIt

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    There are plenty of people out there who want to be with you. I can tell you, I actually postponed my transition with five years because my mom said those words to me when I first came out to her. Those five years were the most miserable years of my life.

    I found an old thread on this forum where someone asked if they were willing to date an FTM. There was a surprising amount of gay men who were interested. All you have to do is try, and don't be afraid of rejections. Obviously there are many trans guys who are in a relationship.

    An inspirational video on FTM dating.

    Not all bisexuals are into trans people, but the chances should be higher.
     
  13. SchizoBurrito13

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    It's the pansexuals, not the bisexuals
     
  14. Bennyyoso

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    Don’t let it get you down. You’d be surprised how things can work out. I’ve always considered my self a straight guy maybe with a bit of a bi curiosity that I’ve toyed with but never gone past the sex to feelings. Always felt gross after being sexual with a guy. I’ve always felt out of the loop not being a gay guy, straight guy or even a real bi guy. Extreme depression and the feeling I had pretty much given up and began looking into the MGTOW lifestyle while occasionally having a random one night stand. One random one Where I met my current boyfriend... never in a million years would I ever have thought... but I met a man who is ftm and it really is like nothing I could have ever imagined. We’re good buds who share tastes and hobbies and we are very in love. What many Ftm’s don’t understand that they are the best of both worlds because you can have a real actual friendship that isn’t based on sex or attraction, but also have it like it’s the topping, something that makes it even better. And for a ftm who doesn’t want bottom SRS, Works like magic. Took me awhile to get over the pronouns and labels and stuff. But I couldnt imagine it any other way. Sure there are some things about him that I don’t find the hottest ( his hairy legs and butt lol ) but it’s who he was that made him who he is now, and he’s absolutely perfect.
    I don’t believe I’m that unique. I think everyone has a handful of people who perfect for each other, just gotta keep the journey positive because the negativity keeps them away