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My mom won't accept me and I can't deal with school

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Alex TransLion, Mar 25, 2017.

  1. Alex TransLion

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    California
    I've known I was trans for a while, and the last time I was on this site was just before I came out to my parents. As the naive bean I was, I didn't know what to expect, even though the results were predictable. My dad, Who IS pretty open to this stuff, accepted me and even used my pronouns in the beginning, while my mom, who didn't associate herself with 'that crowd,' has since barely mentioned it, avoided the topic, and attempted to pretend it had not happened. She didn't believe me at first, and took me to a therapist, as she wanted an opinion on my feelings and soul that was more official than my own, and even when the therapist told her that I wasn't making anything up, she still uses my birth name and pronouns, even in front of the therapist.
    It's been three months, and while I have tried to talk to her multiple times to see if there is anything I can clear up for her or help her understand she just blows me off every time. It took my dad telling my siblings that I was changing my name to my preferred one for her to use it at all, and even then she gets away with my birth one as often as she can.
    Combining that with the normal stress from school, plus the added pressure to find a college, and the extra pressure of me wanting to come out but entirely unable to do so because I hate confrontation and talking to people I don't know well, or social things in general, and the fact that I recently was told by the school that they can do literally nothing to help me as far as my situation as a trans athlete, or a trans student in general, goes. They cannot give us gender neutral bathrooms, they cannot allow us the ability to use the staff bathrooms, because other people fucked around in instances similar but which have not happened in a long time. With all of that piled up, I just feel like I can't cope with the stress, I'm breaking down in one class or crying in another. I can't go on like this, my dysphoria and depression are at an all time high, and yet I'm still so scared to come out. Help!
     
  2. Miss Sara

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2017
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    Location:
    Iran
    Hello
    Okay, i'm not an expert and I too have problems of my own.
    Well at least you're in California not in iran where they execute lgbtq people.
    It's good that you're father and siblings are okay with it.
    And about your mother... why don't you have a family meeting where your father and siblings and you're mother sitting in a room and start the topic and there would be nowhere to run and she would have to tell what's going on in her head and why doesn't she approves you.
    And don't be afraid of people. When life gets hard you can go to you're father and siblings for comfort, some of the trans people don't have that either.
    And don't keep your feeling inside, if something happened to you
    If you like someone just tell your siblings or the one you trust. It makes you at ease to know you can talk to the person about things that happen in you're life and attractions you feel.
    So
    Good luck
    PS. (I'm left handed and sometimes it's hard for me to hold scissors so gender natural bathroom....yep everyone has its own problems... smile at your problems and maybe someday it will be solved)
     
    #2 Miss Sara, Mar 25, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 25, 2017
  3. anthracite

    anthracite Guest

    My mom's like that to. She procrastinated even further. I would advise you to ignore it. Once you run around with a beard and she birthnames you, she's gonna ridicule herself.

    You're early in that, so probably there's lots of stuff for you to do. Get a haircut, some boxershorts, jacket, height increasing insoles. Focus on improving your passing. Do you go to the gym? Definetely makes you feel better.