Needing advice on being inbetween

Hi there! I think I understand what you're trying to say, for example, for all intensive purposes I usually tell people I'm agender because it applies and it's the easiest to describe.....and while that gender is neither male nor female, I prefer being called a boy because that gives me a context in which to put myself since we live in a binary society. Although I never fully feel like a man, I identify with the word boy because I look and feel masculine, and feel it's a better fit to how I appear than being called a girl.

Bigender doesn't have to just mean switching between male or female! I use to say I identified as bigender because I floated between feeling like I had no gender, and feeling somewhat like a boy. For example, you could also switch between female and nonbinary, agender and genderqueer, or agender and androgynous, etc. etc. most people who enjoy the label bigender simply pick it though because it describes more of a concrete switching between two points rather than the ever changing fluidity of someone who was say genderfluid.

Does what you prefer to be called or how you see yourself play into the identity that you're looking to define? For example, many times I don't feel the need to correct people if they call me feminine pronouns since I was visibly AFAB, but I do prefer going by a more neutral nickname or a masculine name.

Androgynous is a word to describe someone's appearance, where as androgyne is a gender identity. I feel androgyne and agender are rather similar in many ways. They are neither male nor female, but sometimes an agender person will present androgynously so as to not convey any signs of being male or female, where as an androgyne will present androgynously because they WANT to appear as both male and female, or something in between the two.

There are other identities as well. Demiboy and demigirl mean someone who identifies partially with boy or girl, but not entirely, and may be something else also or maybe not. Neutrois is an identity that's definition states it is a distinct identity different than male, female, masculine, and feminine, but still has a strong "feeling" of gender. Nonbinary is a catch-all term much like genderqueer or genderfluid.

You can use multiple terms to describe your experience and interchange them depending on how you see fit!! I oftentimes feel there aren't words to describe my experience and how it changes over time.

 

I think if you don't really identify with either of the binary genders that's society supplies then androgynous may work well even just as a place holder until you know the exact thing you're looking for. I went from using bi gender to genderfluid and even now believe there may be another's term more suited to me as it's not just the identity feel but also the intensity of that gender that changes too. I also recently moved to using they/them or she/her (mainly she/her) from using (because of society) he/him. But I think even if it's just fornow androgynous is a good choice. But I think your girlfriend is right does it really matter it's whatever you feels right and in the end it's your choice if you wanted to use that label or any label for that matter. Good luck hope you find what you're looking for.