I'm in the process of being diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome (high functioning autism) and when I told my mum that I think in trans, she told me it's common for people on the autistic spectrum to feel that way and that it usually sorts itself out once they accept that their gender isn't the problem. She told me if I truly am transgender her and my dad will accept me for who I am and I can be whoever I feel. She said Aspergers first and gender later. I'm wondering if anyone can give me any advice on the matter?
It's more that people with Aspergers are less likely to follow social norms, including gender roles. AFAB's with AS also tend to have more male-typed brains on average. However, I don't think having aspergers makes you trans in all cases...I mean, I have it and am cis. But I do admit that I don't feel girly and don't relate to neurotypical cis women at all (even my best cis female friend is on the ASD spectrum). That being said, if you are trans don't let people use your diagnosis to invalidate you.
Do you have a therapist? Maybe talk to them or ask your mother to consider the idea of one. A therapist could most likely distinguish things for you. I'm sorry I don't have better advice :/ just, good luck, whatever you do!
First of all, I think you have a wise mother. She seems to be very accepting, though cautious, which is good. It is correct that people with ASD more often have gender dysphoria, and there are several studies as to why this is the case, but I won't get into them right now. There is another stat that says, I believe, around 1/2 to 3/4 of adolescent or childhood gender dysphoria resolves itself by adulthood. However, this does not necessarily mean you aren't transgender. It is perfectly possible to have both Aspergers and be trans. I know of at least three trans-guys here at EC, myself included, who are on the spectrum. My advice is to get through the ASD diagnosis process, then if you still feel that the dysphoria needs to be addressed, let your mother know that it is important you see a gender therapist as well.
I suppose my mum would have said the same if she hadn't already deduced that I probably have Asperger's (she's a very logical person as a whole and she's a nurse). Plus I came out as trans, as an adult, more than a year after she had finally told me her suspicions about my being on the spectrum (she said that although she knew, I seemed to handle it okay, so she didn't see the need for an official diagnosis* or anything, because we dealt with it on our own unless it was an emergency in this family). *I'm currently working on this.
First off, welcome to the club, so-to-speak. I admire your openness to come out and say that you have Aspergers. I, myself have Aspergers, and almost never tell people. A while back someone else here posted a thread about Aspergers and gender, and there, and here are about the only times I have publicly discussed the issue. My gender issues didn't really develop until adulthood. I had some gender issues going as far back as childhood, before my Aspergers really developed, but I really started noticing it as an adult.
Im Aspergers too. And that's partly why my mom and dad didn't really take my telling them that I'm trans all that seriously until I went to a therapist and she confirmed for me, and them that I am trans. Just because you're in the ASD club doesn't mean that you're not part of the Trans Club, you can be both I'm also glad to see that I'm not the only one in EC that is on the spectrum and trans ^^
