I know we don't really ever get a chance to do things over in life. That being said, I kinda feel like I sold myself short when I first posted on here about questioning my gender identity. So I decided to tackle that by writing out my story in the 3rd person. Here's what I have so far and let me know what you think. The Story of April This is the story of a girl named April. She isn’t a normal girl as she was born a boy. The story of her birth is a chaotic one, as told to her by her late grandmother. She was born in a small Midwestern town at the same time as many others. As her mom went into labor, her grandmother had to track down the only nurse in the hospital wing to get assistance, but all turned out well. The first few years of her life were largely spent living with her mom and grandparents on a small farm and spent a lot of time under the care of her grandmother. She was a typical child, playing with whatever toys were around even though she had an odd preference for stuffed animals and toys that were more “girly” despite being a boy. After some moving around from town to town, she began to notice that she was different around the age of 8. It happened one winter day when she went to play outside, climbing trees that were on the edge of a frozen stream. While climbing one of the trees she stopped, looked at the sky and had the epiphany that she knew she wasn’t a boy, she just wasn’t sure what she was. By the age of 10, April and her family had finally settled down in a small city and her inner girl started to come out. It started to come out when, one day at school, she saw a girl wearing spandex leggings and she just had to have them. So she asked her mom for some, and got them. The day she wore them to school wasn’t any different than normal, but she did notice that everyone at school, including her friends, really didn’t want to be around her that day. After that day, April withdrew into herself and started to hide the girlishness. She still went about and did all the stuff typical of boys that age: played outside a lot and got dirty, played little league baseball and wanted to play football. Things would stay this way until about the age of 12. It was on a fateful day that her mom took her and her siblings on a trip to a larger outlet mall in another town to buy new shoes when April saw a pair she just had to have (again): a pair of women’s 4 inch high wedge sandals. She stared at them for a long time, debating on whether to ask her mom if she could use her birthday money to get them or not. She couldn’t muster up the courage to ask and so settled on a pair of boy’s shoes instead. This was also around the same time she asked her mom what she would’ve been named had she been born a girl and was told she’d have been named April. The name resonated and stuck with her ever since. It wasn’t too long after that her little brother discovered her step-dad’s collection of old Penthouse magazines. As she started looking at them, she couldn’t help but wonder what it’d be like to be the women in the magazines. To look pretty, have boobs, have a vagina and how it’d feel to be a woman in those sexual situations. This led April to wonder how it would feel to wear women’s clothes, so she started raiding her mom’s closet. This made April feel really good, and started to notice it gave her some inner peace (especially after taking care of some arousal from her cross dressing). Her favorite thing to steal was her mom’s orange sundress and a pair of leopard print sandals. These sandals would become important as when looking at one of the magazines, she found a model in an ad wearing spiked stiletto high heels and decided to make her own high heels. She’d use the sandals, some old wooden blocks and some tape to try and make the highest heels she could, but with little to no success. Saddened, she gave up on the venture, but vowed to buy her own shoes when she got older. April’s mom knew of her cross dressing. She never minded it, but would always make the request that her things be returned. That was always how far any talk of that subject went, even after April graduated. It wasn’t until the age of 19 that April was able to get her own bank account and debit card. This new found financial freedom allowed her to finally be able to buy all the things she wanted and boy, did she get stuff! By the time she was 21 she had managed to amass about a dozen pairs of high heels, mostly of the stripper variety, a few tighter dresses and skirts, a wig, a bra and some breast forms. It was also during this time that April had discovered trans porn. Seeing all of those transwomen made April finally realize that indeed, she was most likely a girl. She loved how beautiful they looked and wanted to be like them. April also developed a liking for cis women that had large breasts and transwomen that had large breasts too. She often fantiasized about what it’d be like to look like that. Her favorite adult starts to look at were Devinn Lane, Nikki Benz, Lisa Ann, and her favorite of all is Priya Anjali Rai. Her favorite transwomen to look at are Mia Isabella, Sarina Valentina, and Kimber James. Around the age of 22 she met her future wife and was married at 23. Her wife knew of her cross dressing and was ok with it. However, April was not comfortable doing it in front of her wife and by the time her nephews started to be around their house more, she had thrown her collection away, with the intent of rebuilding it later with more normal clothing. So for the next 6 years April largely existed as the way she was born. Any and all desires to cross dress and be feminine were kept secret and not acted upon. It wasn’t until she was 28 that she finally caved to her desires and began cross dressing in secret at work. She was able to do this as she ran her own business at the time. So when there was no one at the office, she’d get out her new high heels (a pair of wedges and a pair of stilettos that were decently made knock-offs of a luxury brand) and decide between a pair of dresses: a tighter fitting red bodycon dress or a black sweater dress. She also had gotten a pair of fairly large E cup breast forms and a bra. There would still be arousal at cross dressing, but looking at herself in a full length mirror in her office, she couldn’t help but be extremely pleased at how feminine and pretty she looked from the neck down. The time spent like that wouldn’t last long, but the times she was able to enjoy it more, she found that she was able to get an amazing amount of work done in the office. Sadly, this would only last for about a year until her business had to be shuttered. Once again, she had to throw away the things that helped her feel happy and whole inside. This time though, she found other ways to express herself. April would begin by creating a Twitter account and following some transwomen that were porn stars and accounts that had to do with the LGBT community in general. She was discovered once by her roommate, but her wife said that no, April wasn’t transgender. This desire to express her inner self bubbled under the surface constantly. It wasn’t until April, her wife, their best friends and their kids moved down south that it got to be too much to bear. By this time April had discovered the Whisper app and started to express her innermost thoughts and desires. After a few posts to the app, April somehow got the courage to come out to her roommate about wanting to paint her nails and it was revealed that indeed, April thought she might be a transwoman. That night, at the beginning of the first summer in her new state, was hell for April. Despite getting support from her roommates, her wife took it extremely hard, especially as she was the last to find out and wasn’t told by April. After many nights, weeks and months of intermittent fighting, arguing and soul-bearing conversations with April’s wife, a few things became clear to April: She was, in fact, a woman at heart, her wife was supportive to a point before things came to divorce, and that April had a wonderfully supportive family.
