Who am I? Am I just one person typing here on my keyboard pondering existence in its entirety, Am I a male or a female. In truth I feel like a women internally, of course physically am very male, such things hurt, I wish I showed these emotions. I wish I felt them in there true form crying uncontrolled and full force. Such wishes are never granted, this life is cruel to say the least. And to clarify its not life thats cruel. Its myself my worst enemy tearing apart my own mind every night I go to sleep every time I walk around the world of my own perception. Am I a product of my environment, genetics? I don't know. Honestly I don't care, whatever damage that was caused has been done. I just want to live as someone out of this shell someone free and beautiful, someone who i can physically be without disgust, who i can call myself. Such wishes are never granted, this life is cruel to say the least.
t ---------- Post added 2nd Apr 2017 at 10:21 AM ---------- Oh sorry, I just accidentally deleted my entire paragraph :/ If you're a woman on the inside, that's who you are. And one day, you will also be seen as one. Sure, coming out and transitioning is hard, but I'm sure you can do it. Take one step at a time and focus on the small things that make you feel better. For example you could start experimenting with your gender identity in private. To feel more like you in daily life, you could change small things that make you feel more comfortable, e.g. wear feminine underwear... What also helps me a lot is to write down my thoughts and feeling. When I do so, everything seems less of a jumbled mess. If you have someone you really trust, try talking to them about your gender questioning. If you don't feel comfortable doing that irl just yet, make sure to stick around this forum. There are a lot people who are going through the same thing you are. You don't have to go through this alone.
