So as the title says, I’ve recently been questioning my gender. A lot of the time, I just don’t feel like I’m a guy. I look at a girl’s body and feel envy, rather than arousal. I want to wear feminine clothing, shave my legs and wear makeup without the knowledge that I would be made to feel ridiculed. I hate my flat chest, the way my voice sounds and if there was a way to get rid of my facial hair forever, I would take it in a flash. But at the same time, I feel don’t so much mind being a guy. I don’t particularly mind being referred to as he/him, and I don’t really care about having a penis. And as I said above, I don’t feel like that all of the time. It’s kind of like there’s a sliding scale in my head between male and female, and while it mostly rests on female, there are times it slides over to male.
Hi Ravic and welcome to EC! Nice to have you here. This sounds like the perfect description of genderfluid. If you're genderfluid, your gender fluctuates between two or more different genders. Many people describe it as a sliding scale or something similar. There are also people on this forum who identify this way and can probably explain their identity much better than I did. If you feel like a girl most of the time you might also be a transwoman. I suggest you take a closer look at both of these identities and maybe ask some people on here who identify these ways about their understanding of their identity. Of course, in the end only you can find out what your gender is. It takes some time but it's also an exciting process and helps you understand yourself much better. Good luck with figuring things out!
It does sound like you are fluid. There are days I couldn't care less what I am. There are days that I am literally crying because I want to be female. There are also days that I want to scratch my own skin off because I feel male. Most days I am hovering between agender and female, more leaning on the female side. You should do a lot more reading if you are unsure, and also should find professional help from a therapist that specializes in gender and LGBT issues.
