Hi, I know I've been posting a lot lately but I have been making progress on my gender identity but am still experiencing slight confusion. While I definitely identify as male, I definitely feel like I fall into the more feminine category. Although I have made improvements in discovering my true self, there is something still missing. Recently I went to a wedding shower for my aunt who was getting married in July. However, for some reason, I was disappointed that my stepdad and brother came. It's not that I did not enjoy their company, it just makes me feel more proud to be gay when I can go to stereotypically female events. I also felt really repressed because I thought some people looked really gorgeous in their outfits but some of my family does not know I'm gay so I felt uncomfortable commenting on them. I also have been noticing that some of my personality from when I was younger is beginning to emerge again. I remember my aide from middle school tell me that I needed to "man up" because I would cry a lot more than he was comfortable with. In addition, ever since accepting myself as gay, I have gotten into the bad habit of going days without brushing my teeth or showering. It really bothers me because I consciously care about my heigine, but I'm afraid of how I might act if I begin to do it regularly. My worst fear is being known as "the gay guy" because I know that is not a representation of all gay men. Has anyone ever felt this way?
