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Have You Ever Felt Ridiculous?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Foxfeather, Apr 5, 2017.

  1. Foxfeather

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    NYC
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I will probably be one of the smallest people you'll ever meet. I have strong feelings of being trans, but one look into the mirror is enough to make me doubt myself because I'm so darn CUTE.

    When women hug me, they probably think it's cute that my head only goes up to their chests or so. But it makes me feel like some damn pervert because I'm not a lesbian, I'm trans. Ladies, I wish I could apologize to you for all the weird times. It's not me, it's ME.

    I'd like to have all the working parts of a -quote- real man -unquote- but with legs as short as mine, who's going to take me seriously when I try to make love?

    Everything about my body says, "Hold me, protect me, love me, squeeze me," but that's precisely all the things I want to be for a woman. I want so much to hold and protect someone, but it's so easy, when a woman holds my hand, for me to be the one held and protected. I'm just so small.

    It's something completely ridiculous. I'm a very small trans man and, sometimes, it's hard for me to take myself seriously.

    So that's why I want to try to get us all to frame ourselves in the ridiculousness of it all. Who are we to try to convince others that we are other than how we are born? Who are we kidding ourselves?

    ..Why aren't we kidding more with ourselves? For a lot of us, including me, Trans Hurts. A Lot. But I don't want it to hurt me anymore.

    I'm sad that I'll never be the man that most women expect me to be. I'm sad that my body doesn't match up with my heart. But I don't want to take myself too seriously and miss all the women who do find me beautiful and strong and man enough for them. Maybe some of those women wonder if they're woman enough for me. As women, we're always doubting ourselves, you know?

    Tell me about your genderqueer, your lesbian, your gay shortcomings. Why do you suck at being trans? Why do you suck at being gay, bi, pan, or lesbian? How are you a hypocrite and a joke? The only way we can start getting comfortable with ourselves is if we start smiling when we see ourselves in the mirror, even if it's a laugh of disbelief.
     
  2. anthracite

    anthracite Guest

    Here's a list:
    - I suck at being trans because I don't want to be
    - I'm small too and slim. Not quite the strong protector I wanna be. Actually I'm like that child that becomes the blue ranger :grin: Just without magically growing when morphing.
    - I get man colds. Seriously. Always did so.
    - I am bisexual and I'm a virgin. At 18 years old. Shouldn't I have plenty of sex with every hot person I see? Clichee: fail.
     
  3. Sebby45

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    She
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    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Foxfeather, I like your approach. So many of us doubt and focus on the bad things, when we could be missing out on some of the best people in our lives because of it. Even if our heart speaks another language.

    That said...

    1. I am asexual, so finding a companion is like a big ZERO where I live.

    2. I'm a tomboy, who wants to be called by male pronouns. Epic fail.
    I get ma'm, sweetie, darling'd and hun'd until I want to puke. Every so often someone throws me a sir and I bless them for it. :lol:

    3. I like fictional people better than real ones. Sorry. It is sad, I know. And I like men and women, but more in an aesthetic than sexual sense. I look at character a lot. If I "fall" for one, it never comes to anything (like nothing actually happens.) I have yet to even go on a "date." *hangs head*

    4. Ever try to put on a binder right after a shower? If you don't die, you might get a laugh out of it. :lol:

    That is all I can think of at the moment. Thanks for the thread.

    Sebby45
     
  4. Rickystarr

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Packing kind of feels ridiculous to me, though I like it. It's like I'm playing make believe and it almost seems sad.
     
  5. JKCLC

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    USA
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    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I just got my hair cut into the most masculine style I've dared try since rocking short hair 9 years and counting, and all I've heard is how I've got "the face for it," and that I don't look manly at all! Only one person in my life knows I'm trans, so I know people are coming from a positive place. But if just one person would say, "Hmm, that kind of makes you look like a dude," I'd secretly jump for joy inside.

    As for being small, I also have a "big strong guy" image that rules my heart. I just got my Bugarri tennis shoes. It's a company that makes shoes to discreetly add inches to your height. They work! I'm 5'4" and I measured myself in these and am a little over 5'6" wearing them. I know it's not much, but you seriously wouldn't know I was wearing 2 inch soles, so I'll take the little boost. It just helps my body image, even if it's a lie.
     
  6. Krishebble

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Cleveland, ohio
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I am 6'2'', 285 pounds, with shoulders about as broad as they can get. Being demure, feminine, and unmale does not easily happen. I will never not be "sir" but at least I can be neutral.