Hey all, not sure if this is the right place to ask, but my father seems to have a few misconceptions/prejudices about trans people, so was wondering if some people could help me correct their assertions in a way he'll understand? He's a little understanding about transgender, but has a Christian background and is a little conservative when it comes to LGBT+ matters... Anyway just need an easy way to correct his misconceptions 1. Why do some trans people have sex changes? It's a waste of resources, and you can live life as a woman without a sex change, so why do it? 2. Trans people are too obsessed about becoming the opposite gender, and need a bigger focus in life. 3. Trans people shouldn't be thinking about their gender when there are much bigger problems in the world. Of course, I know these aren't true, as dysphoria is a real mental illness that demands treatment and can seriously mess up your mind, but he doesn't seem to understand why gender/sex becomes a priority to those with dysphoria. Any help explaining this appreciated and all those helping will receive a "namaste" and some cake. Namaste
1) Gender reaffirming surgeries are important to some people, but not others. People generally do it because their dysphoria is too bad not too. I don't have the most informed perspective on this one because I just want top surgery and HRT, but I can understand why some people want too. 2) Often people transition so that they can focus on other things, worrying about passing and not being seen as who you are as well as constant dysphoria can have a really negative impact on a person's life. 3) You could try asking him to imagine that he woke up one day in a woman's body and that no one would believe him when he said he was actually a man. I saw that somewhere and maybe it would help.
A good way to think about that third point is that emotions aren't mutually exclusive. You can be happy about more than one thing. You can also be sad about more than one thing. I know for me when something bad happens and I get stressed out it makes my feelings of dysphoria worsen because the brain has a lovely way of dredging up bad feelings when you already feel bad. Also keep in mind that everyone deals with the cards they were dealt. So just because someone "has it worse" doesn't make someone else feeling's invalid because it's all subjective to your own experiences.
Perfect way of putting it people It's like, I can care about nuclear disarmament AND my mental health issues quite easily. But sometimes mental health concerns will overwhelm concerns about worldwide problems, though often not because I want to. Cheers, and Peace.
1. Personally, I feel uncomfortable in my body no matter what other people think of me. It's just how my brain is wired. I don't think I should have breasts, so I'm uncomfortable when I'm not binding, even if no one else is there to see it. If/when I get top surgery, it'll be for my own comfort, not so other people will see me as male. 2. I do have a bigger focus in life. I have a lot of things that are important to me, actually. I'm studying to become a chemist (or maybe a chemistry professor), I want to have a family some day, and I'm looking for more ways to give back to my community. I'm also trans. Thinking about gender doesn't stop me from thinking about other things. I have a lot of life goals outside of transition. 3. By that logic, I shouldn't be thinking about any of my problems because there are bigger problems in the world. I'm not sure if the statement was supposed to be along the lines of "why are you worrying about gender when there are children starving" or if it was "why are you worrying about gender when there are more important things in your own life to think about", but either way it's absurd. I can think about gender and be knowledgable about problems in the word and donate or volunteer when possible; I can think about gender and still plan for my future and take steps towards getting a career that will make me happy. I'm allowed to worry about my gender even when there are bigger problems, and it doesn't stop me from thinking about those problems too. I think statements like #2 and #3 come from the fact that people forget that trans people are more than just trans. We're regular people who lead regular lives and think about lots of things other than gender. My transition is important to me, but it's not the only thing in my life. First and foremost, I am a person; I like chemistry, computers, playing piano, learning new things, animals, and spending time outdoors. I also happen to be trans. My gender and transition are important to me and affect a lot of things in my life, but they're not the most important thing about me.
