My husband (MtF) and I (bi-gender F/M) are both in the process of Phase II of coming out. So far it has gone remarkably smoothly. Phase I was our immediate family - our adult children, his mother (who lives with us) and my mother and step-father (who live in another state). This took place in late February. The kids took it very well, and asked what pronouns to use, etc. They were surprised about their dad being MtF, but not at all about me being bi-gender. The moms and my step-dad took it rather well, very surprising considering his mom is LDS (Mormon). None of the three seem comfortable with it, but they're accepting it. Phase II began with me writing letters to my best friend and some more distant close relatives - my brothers, aunts and uncles, and his brother and (soon) dad and step-mom. My best friend took it incredibly well and even asked my gender pronouns, and his brother sounded almost unsurprised. It also turned out his brother just went through a workplace transgender training, so he had some fresh knowledge backing it up. We're both still waiting for a negative reaction. I figure it may come from one of my aunts or uncles, or very likely from my fundie Christian cousins. The biggest surprise to me so far has been that when my husband tells people he includes something very unusual for a transgender person. "I'll always be dad," he told the kids when they asked his pronouns. When his brother asked a similar question he said "You're not getting a sister, I'm still your brother." No, he's not non-binary. He is fully MtF. But he also said to his brother, "It's like how Uncle X is gay but not swish." Hmmmm. I sometimes get more insight into how he thinks when I overhear his conversations with others than I get at home, even though we communicate really well. How unusual is it that two transgender people (both he and I) don't want to change our pronouns? Neither of us are comfortable with pronoun changes and birth pronouns don't cause dysphoria. Phase III will be me coming out on Facebook, probably next month. Due to employment considerations, my husband has said he doesn't plan to come out socially (outside the family) until and unless HRT changes force him to do so. He's a severely masculine appearing guy, and given his bone structure and size, etc, it may not happen at all. He works at a school district, and while he's not worried about the bosses or co-workers so much as he worries about some of the more conservative parents freaking out about having a transgender person in care of their kids, alone, every day.
