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1 year update on life & love post-transitioning

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by MsEmma, Apr 21, 2017.

  1. MsEmma

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    Howdy everyone! It's been a little over year since I came out to my (now ex-) wife and I wanted to share a little bit about how my last year has gone. As many of you may remember, I was afraid of what was going to happen but I was resolved to be the real me, finally. I'm sorry I haven't been around much since the fall... life has been pretty hectic. But without further ado, here goes:

    First, the saying "it gets better" is soooo true!

    But, it's been a hard year, no doubt. Like many of us, I lost my marriage of almost 16 years. My ex trashed me pretty hard (saying I was "a physical and emotional danger" to the kids) and I lost a fair amount of friends. I spent about $45k in attorney fees, expert fees, and therapy, but in the end I won. We now have joint custody and the kids and I are working with a reintegration therapist to repair the damage done. It'll be a long haul, but I'm hopeful!

    I've been full-time, except around the kiddos, since 9 July 2016. I was afraid referrals would dry up (I'm a criminal defense attorney), I'd lose cases, and be professionally shunned. None of that has happened! In fact, I'm now a member of the Board of Directors for my state's LGBT Bar Association, I started and run a state-wide Name Change Project, have received 2 professional awards from the community and in the running for a third, and recently invited to apply for the local Public Defender Commission! I even got to meet Sarah McBride, the National Press Secretary for the Human Rights Campaign. That's her in my profile pic with me at an awards dinner.

    My neighbors have been great - even complimenting me on my tops, dresses and how pretty I look! :thumbsup: While certainly not necessary, they're a big boost in confidence. My apartment complex has been awesome... never misgendering me and really great when it was time to update my lease with my new legal name (Oct 5, 2016!). All my documentation, except for my birth certificate, is updated with the correct name & gender... passport, driver's license, military retiree ID card, etc. I was born in Missouri so I can't update my BC until after surgery - which is penciled-in for fall 2018.

    One of my other big fears was never finding someone who would love me for me, accepting me and treating me like the classy broad that I am. :icon_bigg That fear was also unfounded! Last fall, I met a wonderful cis woman and we've been dating since 23 Nov. We haven't U-Haul'ed yet, but we're talking about it.

    HRT began last summer and I'm at 329 days on Spiro and 278 days on Estradiol. HRT has been kind to me and I've got a solid A cup, working towards that B. With a 42 band, they're still pretty small compared to my frame, but I'm digging them. My hair is growing out nicely - I've moved clearly into the "cute bob" phase and past the weird growing-out phase. Looking forward to extensions this summer to put my hair solidly below my shoulders.

    While life ain't perfect, it's pretty grand all things considered! I'm happy, healthy, in a great relationship, stable job, and 2 kiddos that I love to the moon and back. Perhaps too often, we are focused on the things we want to improve and don't really recognize the good stuff in our life. I hope my update can provide a bit of sunshine to those considering coming out and maybe the push to actually do it. I've been not-so-equal parts lucky, privileged, and resolute in getting myself to this point, but it's possible.

    Much love,
    ~Emma
     
  2. JKCLC

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    Everything about this post is exactly what I needed to hear. I am so happy for you!
     
  3. Kodo

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    I am happy for you Emma. Hopefully there will be more stories like this in years to come on EC.
     
  4. Eveline

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    I'm so happy for you! (*hug*)

    You really are an amazing person Emma. :kiss:
     
  5. Rickystarr

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    That's great to hear. We've missed you and I'm glad to hear from you again. (*hug*)
     
  6. randomconnorcon

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    That's great, Emma!
     
  7. looking for me

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    wow, so fantastic. gives me hope since i started my transition in February, and i have many of the same fears.
     
  8. Worker Bee

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    Wow Emma! That's such an amazing post.

    You are an inspirational woman. I hope I can channel some of your strength and courage to change my life and myself for the better.
     
  9. Chronos

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    How inspirational!
    *stands up and starts clapping*
    I support you!
     
  10. Lacybi

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    I've missed you around here but I'm glad that life is going well for you! I hope you don't mind but I named a character after you. Emma is an MTF older cousin to the main character's best friend and helps her out a lot.
     
  11. MsEmma

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    Thanks, everyone! It's good to be back in the EC community! You all are such a source of inspiration to me and I honestly couldn't have gotten where I am today without you all! I love each of you!

    @LacyBi - Seth, that's so awesome! I'm totally honored you'd think of me in such a kind way! ❤️❤️
     
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