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Middle school to high school, female to male

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Pistachio, Apr 22, 2017.

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  1. Pistachio

    Pistachio
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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Some people
    After talking to a professional at the local hospital, my parents decided that they're going to let me go to high school as a boy. It's supposed to be so that I can experiment in a way that's separate from the rest of my life. Even though I'm 99.9% sure that I'm a dude.

    I've never been so thrilled, but I'm excruciatingly nervous. One wrong move, and I'm sc
    ared it will fall apart. This is all I've wanted for so long. It's painful how easily is could go bad.

    Most people there don't know me. It's one of the biggest reasons I picked the school that I did. That might seem crazy, but again, I've never wanted anything as much as I want this. I have two close friends going there( one of which is likely MTF), and one person who used to go to my middle school, who I am afraid will recognize me, and tell people. I don't know whether or not she new me when I had my hair cut short.

    I also am afraid I won't pass, even though I always seem to pass to strangers, despite my stupid voice. I'm afraid that teachers and staff will find out. Or that they will have to know at all, really.

    My parents want me to be the one to talk to the LGBT director for my district about making it so that I can go by a different name and stuff. They have a principle where this is my thing, and they won't be in my way, but they're not going to do it for me or help me out much. But I don't know what to say to the person (I'm writing an email) or how much to reveal. Every time I try to sit down to write it, i get stuck.

    I am worried she will think I'm not really trans, or she won't be able to change my name on important documents. I just don't have a good concept of how much she can do to help. I don't want people to know.

    Please give me any advice you can. On being trans in high school, on passing, or on writing that email. Anything helps.

    -Ant
     
    #1 Pistachio, Apr 22, 2017
  2. Daydreamer1

    Daydreamer1
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    Location:
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    He
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    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey Anthony,

    Sorry this is late since I wanted to post this earlier, but I had to step out. I never had it in me to come out formally when I was in high school, but I'll do my best to help. While it's easier said than done, I'd recommend being blunt with your local LGBTQ director in stating your case; that you're trans and want to be able to be your true self without having to worry about being open or out about your identity; and that you'd love resources as to who you can get in touch with or what you can do to make the process easier.

    If need be, see if you can talk to your guidance counselor about what can be done. They could talk to your teachers about adding a slip to your file about your name, so they know which name to use. I'm pretty sure your teachers wouldn't mind if you emailed them directly either about the notice, and would appreciate it so they can make your experience as comfortable as you can. Also, I'm sure it would be strictly confidential and that they can't out you since that could result in a major lawsuit because it would potentially put your safety in jeopardy.

    I hope others who were in the process of transitioning while in school can be of more assistance. Good luck with everything!
     
    #2 Daydreamer1, Apr 22, 2017
  3. Najlen

    Najlen
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    I agree with Daydreamer1 on everything they said. I just want to add that you should look up protections for trans student in your state. I'm only familiar with the Oregon ones and your state might be different, but here schools are required to have teachers use the preferred name and pronouns for trans students and to change the name on all documents. Things might be different in your state though so if you can find a legal document stating your rights that might be a good idea. You might consider attaching that to your email.
     
    #3 Najlen, Apr 22, 2017
  4. JKCLC

    JKCLC
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    I don't have any advice since I suck at my own life and am still not the person I want to be at 27 years old, but I just wanted to say I am PROUD of you, you are so brave, and I am so excited for this new chapter of your life!
     
    #4 JKCLC, Apr 22, 2017
  5. Pistachio

    Pistachio
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    Out Status:
    Some people
    Thanks a whole crap ton you guys. I feel ready now. Wish me luck.

    ---------- Post added 23rd Apr 2017 at 02:47 PM ----------

    I'll plan out what I'm going to say, and add details when me and my parents have agreed on my name.

    ---------- Post added 23rd Apr 2017 at 02:51 PM ----------

    And JKCLC, that is so kind of you. I'm not the person I want to be yet either, but we're both going to make it there, alright? Hang in there.
     
    #5 Pistachio, Apr 23, 2017
  6. Najlen

    Najlen
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    Good luck! You can do it!
     
    #6 Najlen, Apr 23, 2017
  7. Eldrher

    Eldrher
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    I wish you all the luck in this. I'm too scared to come out at school because I'm still trying to accept myself. I hope it goes well and you feel better in yourself
     
    #7 Eldrher, Apr 24, 2017
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