I want to ask my mom if I can buy some shirts from the boys' section online. It's hard to find something that I like from the girls' section bc of the styles I like. I'm not sure how to bring it up. There's no way for me to buy without my parents knowing bc we share an Amazon account, and while I do have my own debit card, they would notice if I suddenly wore a shirt they'd never seen before, especially a masculine one. I've spoken to my mom about my gender questioning before, and while she is accepting, she has told me many times she doesn't think I am really trans deep inside bc she doesn't see any of the stereotypical signs and I was a fairly feminine kid when I was little. I haven't told my dad much, but he's vaguely accepting of trans stuff. Neither of them knows my real name or the full extent of my gender issues. I wouldn't have to come out officially or anything, but I'm worried they'll interrogate me about my gender. How should I bring up the topic? Should I just buy the clothes and wait for them to notice them online or when I wear them? I need some courage.
Hi there. I would probably just say I want to buy some clothes and if your mom asks just show her the items. If she asks why I suggest you tell her the simple truth that you prefer them/ the style without making an issue of the supposed gender the clothes are for.
Tell her there are some kids who show transgender tendencies before puberty, but the vast majority of trans don't begin feeling "symptoms" until they are teens/late puberty. This is shown in many studies. The same studies show that there are virtually no teenagers for whom it's "merely a phase." Once transgender feelings manifest, they very rarely go away again. Often, if they do report a cessation of trans feelings, the teenager is lying because of the social pressure from family and community, and they either commit suicide or they transition later in life, when it's far more difficult both socially and medically.
You sound like your in a pretty similar position to me. My parents are lgbt accepting but don't think I'm trans, although are willing to support me if I truly am. I think you should buy the clothes. Your parents aren't in charge of what you wear. I don't think they would have any problems with it. My parents don't care what I wear. I think you should go with what makes you happy and tell them its making you happy if they have an issue with it.
I wouldn't ask for her permission to buy clothes. Maybe show her the items you've picked out before buying them and don't even mention that they are masculine. In all honesty, you're 15, you should be allowed to buy your own clothes.
Pick superhero shirts that you like/tolerate/don't hate. Generally, the better looking and/or only ones available are in the men's/boy's section. This has been my tactic for some time now and it's been working; my dad hated that I wanted to get boy swim shorts but was happy to buy me a Wolverine shirt. Hope this helps!
I agree with Quniverse, and not necessarily superheroes. If there's a band you like or another interest you can say you can't get it in the female section. Or even just a unique design.
You could ask your mom just to make it apparent that you are, indeed, feeling this way. It'll make it clearer to her that you're experiencing this and it's for real. It isn't so much about the clothes, is it, as much as it is about letting a loved one know?
