How old were your kids when you came out to them as trans? How did they react? I told my kids I wanted to dress up as a guy for Halloween, just to test the waters. They thought it was funny, and so I jokingly said, "What if I was a guy ALL the time?" My 5yo legit started panicking. Like, "NOOOO, I need my mommy! You wouldn't be my mommy anymore!" I had to convince him I was joking so he wouldn't start crying. The other two hated the "joke," too. Broke my heart.
I'm thinking about this too. I'd love it if my 4yo would call me Mommy instead of Daddy (she already has another Daddy so it wouldn't be SO weird right?) but I don't known how far along in my transition process to come out to her.
I've been thinking about this too. Whatever this mess is with me (nonbinary? Genderqueer?), I only began to accept it again after the kids were out of the house. The life of my oldest was significantly disrupted by the divorce and I really don't want to further shake up his life, so I hope to keep closeted to the kids at least until I have a steady support system and can provide structure from this context (if that makes sense.) On the other hand, honesty is best. I also have one friend with a son (trans), who may be getting pushed back into the closet, and I'd like to be out there to help if/when they need it.
my son was 16. he was great. he did have some reservations on my not being dad anymore, and i told him i will always be your dad, no matter what i look like. ive been a single parent since he was 14 and in truth for years before his mother left so it was both a bit of a hurdle and simpler transition to accept me as mom and dad for him. his age certainly helped here as well, plus he's a pretty mature kid in University now studying psychology.
I will say that nothing phases my youngest. I could see him replying with "Should I go with 'Whatever, Dad', or 'Whatever, Mom'?"
I'm not a trans parent I'm trans myself but because of how i was raised i'm fairly good with understanding children due to the fact my bad past helped me understand the what not to dos. First, for the younger children i'd let them get older i know most people say that it's better to tell them younger and i'd agree if there around 7-8 because until that point there not going to be able to fully comprehend what you're talking about or understand. Trust me i tried with my nephew and he flipped (Someone convinced me to try and i should have taken my my advice instead) My nephew did the same thing your kid did he cried and freaked out he was 4 and he just didn't grasp the understanding of it yet. But you could start with talking to your kids about acceptance and Difference if there also around the younger age under 12. As for teenagers that's just a adjustment and will take time. but i'd start with a talk before you dive into the subject. And if you do end up telling the little one i'd explain that "you're not leaving or going away so they know that you're still you, and it doesn't mean you're leaving.
