Man, I consistently make on myself the impression that I give too much shit about who thinks what. I always thought I'm cis because I was told so. I won't go anywhere asking anyone. Trans guys also have a norm, don't they? I always revert to identifying as genderqueer, because it seems like a compromise, and it leaves me unsettled. The Inner Voice speaks. I always feel like there's something wrong with me for feeling like a guy and identifying this way. Because I don't want to transition. I don't feel the desire. I do not care how I'm grouped with others. I just feel this way, and it'd rather not feel it. Because people are gonna talk that I'm a woman. Even more so if I don't follow what is thought of people who feel the way I do. But I don't want to have to be ashamed and be silent. Others would want me to identify as non-binary.
There's nothing wrong with not wanting to transition, it doesn't make you any less of a guy. Only you can truly know what gender you are. I feel the same way though, but I really try to not let others tell me what I am "allowed/supposed" to be and what not. Because from my experience that will just never make me happy, so I just think f*ck what everyone says and do what will make you happy.. And why should one feel guilty for doing something that makes them happy that doesn't affect anyone else negatively? I hope this was somehow helpful? Btw if you want to talk you can post on my wall
Don't feel guilty for who you are. You can't help it. Others are just ignorant because they do not know how you feel...but I know sharing something like this is a huge move. (*hug*) Be kind to yourself, Sebby45
Like Seb said, don't feel guilty for who you are. There is no shame in being transgender, nor any "correct way" to be so. You don't have to have surgery or even hormones. That is a personal decision, and to be frank, no one else's business. What is important is who you are inside. When you strip away all prejudice and pressure, the real you. And if that is a gay or bi transgender guy who doesn't need HRT to feel confident in himself, that is good. That's alright.
Hey, even I feel this way, too sometimes. Most people don't understand so I haven't tried coming out to anyone. Also, I think a lot of celebrity trans men have completely messed up what's the REAL meaning of being a trans guy. Except maybe Buck Angel, who, oddly, totally owns the lower half of his body. I don't know if I'd call him an ideal role model but he sincerely loves his body just the way it is and I give him props for that. See, I'm trans but I still sometimes wear feminine clothing or speak femininely and I don't intend on getting on T. It's for financial and personal upbringing (nurture) reasons. Sometimes I feel so ashamed for being this way and not living up to society's expecations of waht it means to be female or male, and I'm stuck somewhere on the binary that nobody seems to understand. But my decisions--and yours--should only be governed but our own honest opinions of how ewant to present ourselves. I think the biggest problem is the word trans itself. It sounds like something along the lines of "transition" or "transform". When, in reality, not all of us change in the same way. For me, it's been mostly internal than external, and there's no reason that's wrong.
Thank you guys, it helps, it does. It helps to even talk about it. And thanks for your posts. Huge thanks. The guilt emerges when you disagree with others, doesn't it? Guilt is, among other things, society's tool to control its members. Yeah, it's big... I'm stressing the shit. I want to burn my closet to the ground... and it has walls made of fear, guilt and shame. Fox, I'm not stereotypically masculine either. I wear dresses, I don't like football, beer or cars, and I never went above chin length hair. My hobby is drawing, cooking, martial arts, and I like math and stuff like that, I'm a rocker too, a bit, so you couldn't box me either way. I speak and move however I see fit in the moment, and that's all over the place. I try to dress masculine, but that's about it and results rather from knowing I'm a guy and wanting to signal it. I mean I see that I have pretty masculine preferences, even within the "feminine" things, and opinions, and approaches, but not everyone sees that... But I'm actually thinking I might stop to "dress the part" and just wear whatever the hell I want, no matter the gender of it, because both masc and fem clothes are cool. It's difficult to "break the wall" of opinions, so to say. Anyway, thanks.
