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I can't accept myself as MtF

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Chloe123, May 1, 2017.

  1. Chloe123

    Chloe123 Guest

    I really need some help.
    Unlike a lot of LGBT people, the trouble isn't getting people to accept me. But getting myself to accept myself.
    Every time I look at my parents, my sister, my few real friends, I think of what they'd think of me if I came out as trans. They wouldn't accept me. It'd ruin me. As a result I'm having trouble accepting myself.
    I want to be sure. To be proud. To say proudly to who I like "I'm transgender and there's nothing you can do about it". But I can't because I don't yet accept myself as trans.
    If you can help I'll really appreciate it. I need the help. But for now thanks for reading. Bye!
     
  2. Kasey

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    The Commonwealth of Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Accepting yourself is probably one of the hardest things to do especially from social brainwashing. It took me literally 15 minutes to verbalize the world's "I'm transgender" when I first admitted to myself what I was. I knew in my heart and head it to be true. But to actually say it and make it real outside of my head was very very hard. It is normal for many to feel this way. It takes time for acceptance and the courage to do what is needed.
     
  3. WeDreamOfPeace

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Essex, UK
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    This is normal. Took me quite a long time of me repeating to myself "I'm a woman" to accept it. It is really hard to get past the programming of being raised, treated, and expected to act like a man.

    Dialogue between Maya and her mind...

    I'm a woman.
    ...What?
    I'm a woman
    Excuse me?
    I'm a woman.
    No you're not.
    I'm a woman.
    What in hell makes you think that?
    I'm a woman.
    Well... maybe... no, you're not.
    I'm a woman.
    You sure?!
    I'm a woman.
    You're sure about this, aren't you.
    I'm a woman.
    Well... yeah I guess so... but really?
    I'm a woman.
    Yes, you're a woman.
    I'm a woman.
    Yep, you're stating the obvious now. Damn, this is going to get complicated.

    Yes, being proud of being who you are is often difficult simply because part of you often resists accepting yourself. Give yourself time :slight_smile:
     
  4. Chloe123

    Chloe123 Guest

    Thanks for the advice. I'll definitely try the technique of saying "I'm a woman" I want to be sure of myself. To not let haters put me down. You've definitely helped :slight_smile: :icon_bigg
     
  5. Lacybi

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Ireland
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm not sure if it's because I'm nonbinary or not but I found it easier to state the negative "I'm not a girl" to myself; easier to reject what I'm not before accepting what I am.