Well, final-stretch-stress is starting to get to me. I really want to be done with all this already. I'm already over high school and my parents and everything. I had some last minute stress here and there with some stuff, but everything worked out fine. I paid my enrollment deposit, so it's official I guess. I'm almost a college student. This is great, however what's not great is how my parents are acting. Everything is an argument and always about them. Everything is a personal attack on them. Everything offends them. Like, I'm getting another car (not really an upgrade, but still) and I want to take it with me to Massachusetts, which is where I'm going to college (hopefully) for 4 years. I'm basically going to be living there for several years and I want the car. To me, it's a necessity. My parents keep throwing out the typical lame excuse "I don't want" and them throw a tantrum and walk away. My parents are legit being dead weight and keep doing everything they can to drag me down, slow me down, delay things, and ultimately sabotage me. They're very self centered and conceded when it comes to this stuff. They're always infallible too. My parents legit act like I belong to them and that I'm a piece of property. Like, I'm some sort of product they can do with as they please. Like I'm clay that they can mutilate to make me what they want me to be. I'm sorry, but it don't work that way. They need to get over themselves, stop sandbagging me, stop trying to prevent me from being what I want to become, and get over this controlling superiority complex. I'm getting tired of it. And FYI, it's not the car alone that's got me twisted. It's everything. I can't talk to them without getting into an argument. "Hey mom we're out of toilet paper" "Well too bad! I don't want to buy it! I can't handle this! I work hard and this is what I have to come home to!!?" "Mom relax, it's just toilet paper..." "I don't care. I'm not dealing with this. I'm done. I need a Tylenol." And on top of all this increasing trouble with my parents, I'm started to get hit by all of these feelings and emotions. The school year's ending, I'm almost out of high school, I'm going to college, I'm probably going to lose all my friends, I've got health problems, I need to drastically lose weight, and all sorts of things that are just compiling and adding to the stress. And of course transition is another thing on my mind and how I'm going to get through it. It's just all a massive amount of tedious headaches that I can't manage the patients to deal with. It's all adding up. It's just stress, followed by the occasional relief or dry-spell, and then more stress. Oh, and I came out to a friend of mine. I did it over snap chat after grilling her for days. So now she knows and is accepting. She has no problem with me being Trans. She is very supportive and kind, but it's a thing that still keeps me up at night. She has also sworn to secrecy so that's good. But yeah, I'm going to need all the help I can get with all this. It's a thing.
