Warning! This is very self centered. You have been warned So let's get into it,so how should I start this... Well I recently realised I'm FtM. It was few months ago. I mean I always knew I was weird but since I don't live in exactly open minded society I didn't even know something like transgender exist. So I never got the idea.I thought I'm just weird. I accepted the fact I'll propably stay single for the rest of my life and will never fit anywhere. I considered myself as a mistake. When I discovered what transgender is I was happy. I finally started to have hope in my life. Which is good but a certain problem popped up. When I realised what I am ( prefer what instead of who no offense) it was like some switch in my head flipped. I was resigned with my body before but now I started to have dysphoria. And it's pretty bad I feel disgusting and hatred everytime I see my lady parts, mainly breasts. I know self harming won't do me any good so I don't do it. But I have very bad urge to just get rid of them somehow. It's really depressing me and the fact that I can't do anything about it (I have to wait until I finish school which are 3 years) isn't exactly helping. Hell I can't even cut my hair short. So I want to ask.. is it normal to have such big change about feeling of my body? Is there some way how to get rid of the depression? Any help is really appreciated.
Yeah, it happens. That's why I often think not realising you're trans might actually make some people be better off. Here we go with personal therapy What bothers you about your chest and hair? Why? Because there are a lot of transgender guys who have boobs, and who have periods, and who have long hair. They're guys. Some of them live as guys, some of them don't. Still the same person, and same gender. Others seeing you as a woman doesn't make you a woman, that's the essence of being transgender.
I had the exact same thing happen when I discovered I was trans. Before, I had been upset with my body, like wanting smaller breasts, but it was never really intense. Then I learned what being transgender meant and it seemed like suddenly I hated my chest and wanted to cut it off. Like you, I couldn't really do anything at the time because I was in high school. So I waited until college and got a binder which solves much of the problem. However, when I can't bind or before I got my binder I would make up things in my mind to explain why a man would have breasts and that seemed to help a little. I would say things in my mind like "Oh, I'm just another unfortunate guy with male breasts (like gycanomastia)." Another thing I did that helped a little was wear a tighter fitting sports bra. It seemed like forever until I was able to actually do something about it like cut my hair or get a binder, but looking back on it, my high school years went by fairly quickly. I just kept telling myself that school doesn't last forever and that when I graduate I get to be myself. That kept me motivated to keep going. Another thing I would suggest is (if you don't have one already) find a hobby that you really love. I found that music (playing guitar) and dancing distracted me enough from how I felt about my body that it was slightly more tolerable. I hope at least some of this will help you. (*hug*)
Yea but this is more about how I feel about myself. I don´t like having boobs, I don´t want them. I don´t take them as a part of me, I feel like they shouldn´t be here. That´s why I feel disgusting. Unlike you I do mind being seen as a woman. Again I don´t see myself as a woman so ¨ I don´t wanna being dealt with as a woman. Btw I don´t need explanation of what means being transgender, everybody defines it little bit different And I guess I´m not the lots of transgender guys you are talking about. Personal attitude dude :/ As for my hair, they are too long and it does bother me. But I can´t cut them short due to my school situation. Nice personal therapy see you around, friend ^^ ---------- Post added 2nd May 2017 at 06:50 PM ---------- Well I have a binder but I can´t wear it 24/7 due to health reasons. Besides I still have to pretend I´m a girl for the sake of my study and family. So yea only thing I can do is wait. I know school won´t last forever, I keep telling it myself too. As for hobby yea I´ll definetly try that. Thx for tips
Why shouldn't they be there? Why aren't they a part of you? I mean if you just don't like the chest, its shape on its own or whatnot, that's self-explanatory, I suppose. Hair similarily. What does it mean for you to be dealt with as a woman? It's also... I understand, but you can't 100% influence other people's opinions. Even if you transition, everything, and pop, you're outed, some people will see you as a woman. Besides, all you can do is demand what you want, and express what you want. Some poeple will listen to you, some won't. Unless you are trans because of how you feel about your body, but it didn't seems so from the opening post. (Splitting a problem into pieces helps solve it usually.)
Because I feel like it? Geez. Well you obviously don´t have this problem. I´ll try to get you a picture. How would a normal guy feel if he had boobs which appeared overnight? Do you think he would like it or enjoy it? Propably not. I don´t take opinions of people as my life guidance. But there are some situations when are girls and guy treated differently. That´s what I´m talking about. Dude I don´t give a thing about how people will see me after transition because I will finally be me. Ps. Don´t wanna be rude, but are you sure you are transgender? Most of the things you said are kinda outta place here. But hey it could be because you don´t have such good guess about people as you think you do or you just trying to play smart in a thing you´ve never experienced before. I´d guess both, no offense
No, it's not because I don't understand or that i want to understand it's just a method that helps resolve wierd uncomfortable feelings. and not only. asking why why why why... sigh. ok. I won't help you. I can't. ---------- Post added 2nd May 2017 at 10:03 AM ---------- I don't wanna be rude too ---------- Post added 2nd May 2017 at 10:03 AM ---------- I don't wanna be rude too
Don´t worry I´ll deal with it Oh as for your method, do as you like. At least you can see how good it works. For your info asking people is often more effective then trying to place them by your by-book methods
That's what I'm trying to do: get you talk about it, or... talk with you? But you won't listen to explanations, or won't realise people don't always understand what the other person means, will you? You just don't want to be talked to. And you dislike critical thought. Or maybe just thought... Which is only going to be bad for you and only you in the end. Your comment about my gender identity is pretty much out of place, kid. But you're a "normal" person, so we have nothing to talk about. My mistake to try to help you out.
I feel you man. Before I realised I was trans I had a massive hatred with myself and my body but I could never pin point what it was, it was just there and wouldn't go away. After realising and coming to terms, I started to note that certain parts of my body would set off what I considered dysphoria e.g. long hair, chest, etc. I haven't left the house without a binder on in over a year now or I don't think I'd be able to function. Do you think you'd be able to bind your chest at all? Using a sports bra just to flatten if you can't get a proper binder? I get you about the waiting too. I started questioning when I was maybe late 15, came out over a year ago and only just got on T a couple days ago. It's a long process to get to where you need to be and you need to set out milestones to reach just to keep yourself sane. Maybe write out a timeline and do little things for yourself to validate yourself. Why do you have to wait until school is over to come out/cut your hair if you don't mind me asking? It's often difficult to come out in that kind of environment but at 18 at least kids tend to be more mature and can usually respect you or at least deal with things a little better.
Bro get a binder! Ahh shit just read you got one. Soo for sleeping sports bras can make you flat and otherwise stay away from mirrors. And workout. How about your wardrobe you got male clothes? I swear, a nice suit will boost your confidence extremely. Or search for your name if you have none yet.
Im trying but since we have giant mirror in livingroom it's kinda challenging :/ I have sports bras too, even some dance top. I'm trying everything Yea I do work out but since I'm very tiny it's not much visible. And yep I have some male clothes, only one set tho. I love to wear it, but then my hair are the problem. Fortunately I have name already. It's Nick
Oh sorry did I gone too far when I told you what I think about you? You thought I'll be happy when you come, acting like you ate all wisdom of the world while saying nonsense? If I wouldn't wanna talk about it why would I make this thread? But what makes you think I'll want to talk with someone with your attitude? I know you don't take me seriously, you're too perfect for that I like people like you. You never realise it, you never get what you are doing wrong. Or rather you don't want to Bye ---------- Post added 3rd May 2017 at 12:11 PM ---------- I have to wait until school ends because we already have a girl in our class who looks like boy. Classmates are pretty mean to her. I don't wanna end the same, right now I'm happy for having quiet. That's why I can't cut my hair, it sucks. Well yea I can't wait to be done with the process. I can wait till I start tho.Due to my classmates I can't make myself look like more boyish. That's what irritates me the most.
