1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Younger sister that might be experiencing dysphoria

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by covert direwolf, May 6, 2017.

  1. covert direwolf

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2017
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Oregon
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hello,

    For a little bit of background, I have a younger sister and we have been close since our parents got divorced. She is uninformed about how gender differs from sex, and I have taken it upon myself to inform her about the aspects of the LGBTQ+ community. The problem is that it's become more personal now; I think that she might be experiencing dysphoria.

    So today, my younger sister expressed to me that she was uncomfortable with her breasts. She's in the late stages of puberty, and she has had breasts of some sort for two years now. She also didn't begin to shave her legs until recently because she was fine with having leg hair. I feel the same way for both of these things, and I am personally questioning my gender.

    My question is do you have to be uncomfortable with all your lady parts to be experiencing gender dysphoria? For me, I am extremely uncomfortable with every aspect of being a woman, but for my sister, I'd rather not ask her how she feels about her female sex organ. Also, is her age too young to know if she is not cisgender? I've known since I was a kid, but do cisgender girls experience the same feelings that she is experiencing normally?

    Lastly, how do I initiate a conversation with her talking about stuff like this? Our family is homophobic and transphobic, but I would like her to know that it's okay for her to be who she is. Thanks for reading this. Any advice will help.
     
  2. newts

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2017
    Messages:
    130
    Likes Received:
    26
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Dysphoria can vary a lot from person to person, so it's not uncommon for some people to be dysphoric about some parts, and for others not to feel dysphoria about those same parts. It is possible to know that you're trans at a young age, many trans people experienced dysphoria even at young ages, although it is worth keeping in mind that even some cisgender people might feel initially some discomfort about changing body parts during early puberty, as it's a lot to adjust to.

    Just letting her know that you're accepting of LGBT stuff, and a safe person to talk to should hopefully let her know that she can confide in you about these things.
     
  3. Mihael

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2015
    Messages:
    3,049
    Likes Received:
    704
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I knew I wasn't cis the later part of high school *shrug* But it went more in lines of agender or genderfluid tbh. It's only when I went to college that I realised what exactly is up.

    Yeah, I know cisgender girls like that too. They feel like girls. They hate their boobs, don't like PiV sex, not comfortable with getting pregnant, don't care for shaving... Especially for teenagers, that can happen. And then all of us reached 21 and are like... whatever, let's buy the whole makeup equipment, pad bras, shave, make out and have babies... Boobs can be unpleasant to deal with in many ways, tbh. Back pain, stuff is moving around, boob pain, you don't always like the way they look, they draw (sometimes unwanted) sexual attention... Shaving is tiring too.

    So... it could be either way.
     
  4. SHACH

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2015
    Messages:
    949
    Likes Received:
    22
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    All of these things are normal. They could be dysphoria, but they could easily be absolutely nothing. There's no law about girls shaving their legs. I didn't do it till I was 16. Make sure you don't suggest anything to her. You probably have a lot of influence over her right now and in the period after her parents divorce she may be feeling bad and be looking for something to act up about. Don't give her too much attention about it, just give her positivity to try and cheer her up generally. Wait for her to come to you
     
  5. novena

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2017
    Messages:
    43
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    london
    Honestly I recommend just laying the information out for her and letting her conclude whether she's trans or whatever. Maybe you could just put a documentary on when she' in the room and make sure she knows she can talk to you about anything.

    If she's not trans then no harm done but if she is then you could be saving her a lot of trouble later on in life when she learns these things by herself.
     
  6. baconpox

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2014
    Messages:
    963
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Seconding that there are a lot of non-dysphoric people who are uncomfortable with their bodies when they're younger.
     
  7. Hats

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2015
    Messages:
    383
    Likes Received:
    39
    Location:
    Neverland
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    AMAB here, but in my experience I’m not uncomfortable with my man parts when I’m experiencing dysphoria, although I have had issues with my leg and facial hair and my body shape. For me it’s more how I’m perceived and the fact I don’t have a female body, rather than my genitals per se.
     
  8. Creativemind

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2015
    Messages:
    3,281
    Likes Received:
    411
    Location:
    Somewhere
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It could go either way. Even some cisgender women can dislike their breasts and genitals, It's just that It never relates to gender for them.

    I'm cis and I'm not always comfortable with my breasts or genitals, but I don't want to be a man or non-binary. I don't feel like either of those things. And I think there are some trans people who don't think about it as much.

    The biggest indicator is whether or not she feels like a guy on the inside.