My boyfriend's trans and before me he's only ever been with women while I only have experience with the cis-male body. We're completely open with each other and talk about sex a lot but not *how* you have it. I have no idea how to navigate a body like my own. I have a hard enough time getting myself off and I'm really stressing myself out that I'm not gonna be good enough for him or know what to do. Awkward question but would really appreciate any advice people could give me about making this easier or knowing what to do? I know I should just ask him and communicate but he's so experienced with (female assigned) bodies I just feel too awkward bringing it up.
Don't feel awkward dude. I understand the pride of not wanting to admit you're new to this type of thing. Before you even try to do sex have you asked him what language he likes to use for umm.. "downstairs?" You know? The.. "peen"? lmao. I love using any word I find fun to use for umm. "that area" xD. *ahem*, anyway: It's not completely giving anything away if you ask him what his turns ons are and what is off limits. Consent is important and this is also a good opportunity to state your boundaries as well. If you use a safe word, that would be a good time to bring that up as well. Also, don't always assume he opposes bottoming. Masculinity has nothing to do with that; some enjoy switching it up. Just make sure he tells you about comfort zones. If he's already on T, expect a lot of fun in the bed btw - it gets superrrr sensitive down there. And just a heads up: Both or one of you is most likely going to use a strap on I assume? See how he reacts and notice what he does; as much as strap ons can be fun, it could also be a bit dysphoric for some so make sure both you and him stay comfortable. T or not though, use some lube man. It will get dry down there. Just don't use silicon products on a silicone packer, you'll regret it. But most of all, have fun and get kinky my friend~
Haha appreciate that reply! Thing is it's weird, we've talked about safe words and turn ons in a kinky sense already so we kind of skipped how to vanilla sex and went straight for kink. Feel like it's too late to turn back now haha. Nah I don't know what word he uses I'll need to find that out, I know that he's a top 100% so know where we stand there. Haha tell me about it, he's about 10 months on T he's a fucking sex maniac, don't know if I'm gonna be able to keep up, yknow. I'm only a couple weeks on T and it's getting to me a bit too though. See that's what I have no idea about, strap ons or anything, I don't have one but he must do if that's how he's had sex in the past? I will just need to bring this shit up with him and get over my awkwardness, cheers man
As awkward as the conversation can be, it really is inportant to have a conversation about what works best for your partner. This is something that is really important in any relationship. We all have things that are off-limits, and it is important to know those things. Otherwise, you run the risk of accidentally doing something in the off limits zone. It is also important to remember that as your bodies change on T, what you or your partner lile may change. So, it is important to keep an open line of communication. It's also good to know how your partner wants his parts to be referenced as. For instance, I'm fine with the term vagina being used to describe my parts, because I've never had a lot of bottom dysphoria. There are a lot of other guys that hate having it called a vagina. So, it is important to know that as well.
I know, I'm sure I'll bring it up before we get to that point. I think he'd want to know what I'm okay with too so we'd talk it out eventually. We mostly just avoid talking about the lower region in general but yeah, I'll try to find out what terms he uses.
If you ever see an opening to talk about it, you should. Also, just go ahead and ask about strap on and how he prefers his sex if he's open to be more detailed
