I'm AFAB and currently am identifying as male. This may just be me overthinking everything but I've been doubting myself. I feel more me than ever since I've been identifying as male I feel more connected to male pronouns and the gender neutral name I've been going by which is great. I just worry about not being fully male. One of the biggest things was how underwhelming it was when I came out fully. I don't know if it's because I was expecting some huge feeling or something I just feel like it should have felt different but for months I feel like aside from the change in bathrooms everything has been there the same. I didn't feel like it was some huge thing. My friend came out as mtf last year and the way she always described it was like it was some amazing thing to finally be herself and I know it's different for different people and I was dressing and acting as myself before I came out so that could be part of it I just always expected something more. I feel like I may be part female still I am such a feminine person I miss my long hair sometimes I sometimes think about wearing the dresses I hated when I was forced to wear them. I feel like I might be nonbinary and not completely one or the other even though no one understands what I'm talking about when I say this. They tell me I'm one or the other and I have to be 100% that gender and I have to conform to that gender completely and I hate it. . I also feel like I can't express myself fully now and explore my gender identity. I'm not a masculine person but I'm criticized for expecting to be seen as male and be feminine. My family tell me I can't paint my nails or wear cat ears and be a boy and when I point out cis boys that do that they tell me it's different. I'm starting to feel trapped because I can't do anything about it. I'm sorry if this sounds dumb I'm just stressing about life and this is not helping that at all.
i totally feel this. At the moment I generally identify as nonbinary (specific is genderqueer but nonbinary is just what i tell people who ask) and often get confused about it. I feel very feminine sometimes and other times I feel very masculine. I'm so sorry you're dealing with it too as it can be hella stressful when you're first feeling it. -Zee
You can be a guy and enjoy feminine things, it doesn't necessarily make you nonbinary. It sucks that other people are enforcing gender roles on you like this, but remember that enjoying masculine or feminine things does not have an impact on gender identity, you can do whatever you want and continue to identify as male if that's what feels right to you.
You should probably sort this out with a gender therapist, but remember that gender expression doesn't equal your actual gender. You may be a feminine guy, or something else. But you should sort it out with someone and try not to overthink it too much.
