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Timeline for transitioning

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by musicheals315, May 9, 2017.

  1. musicheals315

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    Hey there! I realize there's not a right or wrong way to transition, but I'm curious to find out how long it took people from realization that one was not the gender they were assigned at birth to actually beginning the transition process in whatever way that looked like. I'm especially interested in hearing from anyone who recognized this later in life. I feel like I'm really moving through the various phases very quickly and am still not 100% sure I know what my gender identity is. When I first joined EC, I had just come to realize that I (AFAB) was a lesbian, which was about 2 years ago at age 29. Aside from making a few friends in the LGBT community, I didn't really do much to explore this discovery except that I found it almost easy to accept it and still don't doubt that I'm indeed more attracted to female persons. In the past 6 months or so, I've begun really questioning my gender, I began thinking I was agender or non-binary, but now I more and more feel like I'm even trans male. I feel like I went from using men's deodorant out of necessity and men's shirts and sweatpants/basketball shorts out of comfort, to now binding, packing, wearing men's body spray, and pretty seriously considering starting T/down the line having gender reassigning surgeries that will help me better identify as male. Sometimes the speed of this realization makes me think it must not actually be true and that I must be having some hormonal imbalance or identity crisis due to all the stress I'm under, or the fact that I spend a good deal of time watching youtubers who are either transmen or trans-non-binary. Yet, at the same time I had and still do watch a good deal of more femme lesbian youtubers and have many things in my life that no matter how popular other people may find it I don't back down and join in, so I feel like I have a good sense of my self and therefore this isn't just a phase/something that looks like I would like. Most times, it feels like I've finally found a pair of jeans that fit just right, even if it doesn't make any sense why I didn't see them before. Anyone else have any similar experiences to this recognition hitting them at lighting speed and feeling the urgent need to get on with the transition phase?
     
  2. BradThePug

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    *que Brad digging through his posting history because he sucks at remembering dates*

    I transitioned really quickly. I first came out as being non-binary. I came out as being a trans guy in offically in the summer of 2013. I came out here in July of 2013, and started coming out to others in August of 2013. I went back to college fully using the name Bradley in August of 2013. I started gender therapy shortly after, I believe that was in October of 2013. On Feb. 13, 2014, I got my letter to change my gender on my ID and I got my letter for hormones. On April 12th 2014, I took my first shot of T. My name was legally changed on May 27th 2014.

    So, that kind of gives you an idea of how fast my transition really went. That being said though, you do want to be sure that you are transgender before starting anything like hormone therapy. If you can, seeing a gender therapist is a good idea. I was lucky enough that there was one at my college. I really realized that I was transgender almost overnight, it was like everything just connected in my head. I realized that I always was more masculine. I really kept my hair long to try to hold onto some level of femininity. (Those photos are still in my profile album. It has kind of become my transition album...lol)

    The big piece of advice that I will give you is to take your transition at your own speed. It is your transition, and the only people that you really should listen to are medical professionals. If you start to transition and it seems like things are going to fast, you have the option to slow down (this is more with the social aspect, not the hormonal. you cannot control how fast those changes happen.)

    TLDR; you are not alone in feeling that way, I did as well. I transitioned pretty quickly because of this.
     
  3. Najlen

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    Yeah, the way it happened for me was kind of similar. I don't think realizing quickly means that you're wrong. I only entirely realized in January of this year, and I started to transition socially about a month afterward. Just do what feels right for now and if that changes later on it's ok. If you're concerned about starting medical transition and finding out later that it wasn't the right choice, I would advise talking to a gender therapist. They can help you figure things out, and in most states you need a letter from a therapist before a doctor can prescribe HRT anyway.
     
  4. SHACH

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    If you're really not sure, and you seem to be considering that being surrounded by trans culture is affecting you, a way you could test is to stop watching the trans youtubers and coming here for a good month and focus on something else entirely. I know that just cutting down my internet time, focusing on real life acheivements day to day and not thinking about this stuff made me worry far less about gender, even though before that it felt like it was escalating on me. If you're trans and dyshoric enough for a traditional transition to be for you (whatever that is), perhaps it would still be prominent even after a few months.
     
    #4 SHACH, May 10, 2017
    Last edited: May 10, 2017
  5. AaronV

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    I had similar fears, which is why it took me some time to come out. I wanted to be at least 99% sure. So even though I knew something "was wrong" around the age of 12, realized I was trans by the age of 16, I only came out when I was 19. By that time I was basically so miserable that coming out was the only solution. I definitely wouldn't recommend this, I could have saved myself some trouble.

    Once I came out the rest happened fairly quickly, even though it felt like ages back then. Started gender therapy March of 2015, applied for a name change around the same time. Started hormones in October of 2015 and pretty much went stealth at the same time, only 10 months after coming out.
     
  6. musicheals315

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    Thanks guys! I had been waiting to get my new insurance card to make an appointment for a physical to check out my physical health, then will go from there in finding a therapist who I can talk to about my gender issues plus all the other stress in my life and hopefully get some of this figured out. I'm also definitely going to try and cut back on watching my favorite trans/genderqueer youtubers for the rest of the month and not get on here as often. I feel like this discovery of a different gender identity is mirroring pretty closely my discovery of a different sexual orientation, which makes it feel more like this is all really true and not just something my brain has fabricated. Also, I feel like I want to go deeper and deeper into this transitioning process rather than feeling like I need to back away. I will be going to visit my family back in my hometown at the end of the month, which will mean that I will be dressing/presenting closer to what I used to do and less of the way I'm currently presenting so I also think that will be a sort of test. Thanks again for all the advice!!