So I've been confused about my gender identity for about 5/6 months now (I'm 31), but can definitely see signs that I didn't align with my gender assigned at birth (AFAB) for most of my life. I still haven't quite landed on where I fall on the trans spectrum, but know with almost 100% certainty that i'm not cis female. I prefer presenting outwardly as male (male clothes, shorter almost masculine haircut, etc) and am really thinking I would like to start taking T for pretty much all of the things it changes, except for facial hair, but I feel that's a pretty easy fix if I do start to grow facial hair My question is since I'm not out in any way yet and still haven't fully come to terms with what I'd be coming out as, I feel like I should wait to start T until I have come out at least to the people that I see on a regular basis. I'm assuming I'll have some time before it becomes super noticeable, especially since I think I'd try to take a pretty low dose, but since no one can really predict how and when it will start to be noticeable it would be really awkward to wait to come out and then have my voice already be cracking or growing facial hair. I'm planning on trying to get in to see a counselor soon, so hopefully that will help, but for now I'm stuck wanting to have started my transition yesterday, but also feeling like I need all of this to slow way down.
I completely understand where you're coming from. Half of me says "Just give me the magic switch already" and the other half says " slow the hell down, Christine." I suck at advice, but I'm good at listening, so if you ever need to talk, here I am.
I hear ya. Until i joined here i didn't even know that there were gender identities other than trans. So now after questioning and figuring out my sexuality, i'm questioning my gender! Its so much harder to figure out, i think. For now my goal is to just get to a point where i can look at myself in the mirror and feel happy and confident, not immediately feel repulsed and hurriedly look away. Cause that's what I've always done. And I've always hated my name and I've never felt a particular connection to the 'she/her' pronouns. Sometimes i admit it felt odd hearing them. Today, looking at myself in the mirror wearing my first boy's outfit and feeling really happy...i think that's a good start.
AbsoluteNerd- thanks! I appreciate knowing I'm not alone LunarLyric- yep, I have just barely come to terms with my sexuality and now to start questioning my gender, especially since then I feel like if i'm trans than that technically changes my sexual identity and makes it harder for me to figure out how to get into any kind of relationship since my identity seems to be shifting. Thanks for the support!
