Nothing seems to ever get better. If I can get a referral for a gender identity clinic then the waiting time for a first appointment is about 14 months, with about 26 months until I have a chance of getting hormones and even longer before I can be considered for top surgery. I can't deal with having to out myself every time I apply for a job because I went to an all girls secondary school. I have horrible dysphoria every single day because my binder does not make me flat enough and the shape of my body is wrong in every way. I really cannot see the point in carrying on if this is going to continue for over a year, but others can't see how it's just not possible to cope any more.
(*hug*) I'm sorry that things look so bleak. But even though things are going slow, you are taking steps to make your life better, to make the dysphoria and misgendering you're experiencing now lessen or even disappear. You do have plans. And so this won't go on forever, even if waiting feels that long. You will make progress towards your goals, appointments, hormones, etc, but to get there you have to get through this first. And it sucks but think about when you will be able to get to that clinic, when you will be able to pursue hormones, and when you get closer and closer to top surgery.
Other people don't see that it isn't possible to cope anymore because a lot of them have been through that same struggle. it took some of them probably a very long time to get hormones just like you but they are still alive because they overcame everything and they kept walking to make their Futures better. you won't find somebody who will tell you to stop and give up unless they are a complete jerk who wants people hurt. in your situation I'm guessing you are feeling like everything is inevitable and is not ever going to improve because if it does it won't come fast enough and you just want to feel happier? Am i right because if i am I can tell you that most of the people here have been through the same experience and I know you've probably been told that before and as long as a date that seems it is not the end. It's worth going forward and even though its individual steps every little step makes things a little easier. Youll get there
