Hello all, So I'll start with how I got to this mess. Like week ago we had swimming course at school. I was little unsure about going but I decided to go. Very bad idea. I was suffering from depression from another event and my dysphoria got to me. We were forced to do something solo which meant 30 classmates looking at me. Plus mainly it was about diving which I don't like. So therefore the pressure was too much. So I asked if I can go home and the teacher didn't let me. And while I was sitting on bench near the pool I started crying. I couldn't hold it at the moment, it were too much things at once. When I look back I shouldn't go there, I don't know what I expexted from myself. And of course all classmates and teacher noticed. They are nice to me, but I'm still pretty embarassed. The problem is that my mom learned about it. It made her finally realise that I have sociophobia, she was just ignoring this fact until then. And she wants me to find a psychiatrist for myself. The problem about is that this incident made my dysphoria even worse. I am out to my mother and I would really like to make some steps towards transition. But my mother still didn't accept it and I can't change my look until I finish school which are 3 years. So I wonder if it's a good idea telling the psychiatrist about my gender problem. Because this dysphoria sucks and I have to wait but on the other side the psychiatrist can't help me if he/she doesn't know the problem. Also I'm worrying about his/her reaction to it. What do you think?
I definitely think you should be open and honest with the psychiatrist. It's in your best interest to do so. You're 18 so why do you have to wait another 3 years
I would suggest telling your psychiatrist, because you can do things to help your dysphoria other than transitioning. And if they have a negative reaction, you could find another psychiatrist. I hope you feel better though
I have to wait because of school. I need to finish it and I doubt my classmates would take it nicely. I know I should be honest but there is plenty of things to worry about. I'm considering if it's worth it.
I completely understand your pain. I'm on swim team too, and swim team and socialphobia don't combine well for me either (atleast at first)... I remember on my first swim team meet I missed my first race (ever)... and completely lost it. I started crying in front of everyone thinking it was a bigger deal than it was (Missing your race is a big deal, but I wasn't that important part of the team and new to swim team, so it really wasn't for me). Everyone saw me cry and I was so embarrassed but couldn't hold it back. Swim team is a mine field for people who have socialphobia, but it can also really help with it. Forcing you to stand up in front of everyone, is a very good way to get over social anxiety and embarrassment. As for your dysphoria, I can kind of understand that too... I have a little dysphoria with being female. I often bind or wear really tight sports bras to ease that pain, but in swim team you can't do that... Everytime I finished my laps I would look down at my breast and try to make sure that my boobs weren't too big. If they were, I'd want to get a new swimsuit... I would skip so many classes just because I was so picky about my swimsuits and so self aware. If you feel it is the right course to tell your pychiatrist, and if it will make you feel better about yourself, than do it. But I also think you should keep doing swim team (In case you are thinking about quitting). It will definitely help you with social phobia, and will make you more confident. (Also the exercise) For your dysphoria i'm not really sure what to say. Even though i'm somewhat uncomfortable with my body, I'm not trans and im confident with my gender, so I cant really relate to you in that area.
Thanks, I feel a little better. But honestly I have no idea what else than changing my look could help me. And since I can't do that wouldn't it be a pointless discusion? I'm not sure if talking about (in the present) unsolveable problem will help me or hurt me. I need to keep my mental state up so I have to be carefull. ---------- Post added 25th May 2017 at 10:48 PM ---------- Well it wasn't a swim team it was jus temporary swim course with school and it's long over now. I guess my problem is that the swim suit reveals alot of my body. And well I don't like my body plus showing it in public.. well I think swim team is a bad idea for me And I don't know I guess I'll tell the psychiatrist just the situation after it will be very interesting. ---------- Post added 25th May 2017 at 10:50 PM ---------- Yes I finish school at 21 and no it's not a standart. I'n just an idiot who failed his previous school
Lol, sorry for misunderstanding, like I said I don't have so much gender dysphoria as for swim team to be uncomfortable, so I don't totally understand. But I still think you should tell your psychiatrist about your dysphoria, I think it will really help :icon_bigg
be very open and honest with your doctor. they cant read what you keep inside, even if they know that there is something that you are holding back. and if they don't know, they can't help you with what you need. I watched my ex hold back from her doctors and never get anywhere with her treatment, after we split, she opened up, and now she's much better. I split my guts to my therapists and I've never been better, I know me and I've started transitioning which I never would have without their help.
Wow, a lot of people have already given you some advice and I have not read every last reply, so , sorry if you already heard the same from someone else. Yes, you should be open to your psychiatrist. I lied to mine (a lot, about everything) and I regret it to this day. And maybe try and tell your mom that you transitioning is gonna happen and it's up to her (y'know, because she has to allow it (I suppose you're a minor)) wether you'll spend the next years somewhat miserable just so she can put up the inevitable.
Thanks for your support and advice. Glad to know you're doing good in transition, I'm kinda jelaous And yea I think I' ll the psychiatrist, it would be a challenge tho. ---------- Post added 27th May 2017 at 11:28 PM ---------- My mother is doing her best to stop me from transition. She even tells my friends to convince me otherwise. Betting on her with anything would not be a good idea. Yes I guess I'll say it, just hoping I'll have the guts.
