hey I am a transman, 31 and I feel now that i feel I "have made it" in life I have stopped to take a look around and found I want to work with youth and kids. Big brother program a camp in my area called fyrefly and I have also contacted scouts canada. I never even considered fyrefly until a pshcholigist friend of mine had suggested I would be a great mentor for young trans people. So I have started looking into trying to make a new trans(i use this term for and one not feeling they fit completely in their sex)group that would be a safe place for youth. The place is not a problem there is a tonne of space at the pride center in my area and I am working on setting up a games room ( video games) I came out as an adult and mostly used the internet for support. I found the groups i went to kind of scared me away and talking with other trans people I know they kind of had the came expereince. I was hoping to find some advice or ideas from transidentified or questioning youth about any ways I could make this different, more welcoming, and a whole lot less scary or intimidating. Also the word "youth" seems to have a very large range some ranges as large as 12 to 25. I look alot younger most people say I look 25,(typical i find for teans me to look younger) and i have a few friends who have been working for fyrefly for a few years (its a one a year event) who are interested in helping out aswell. The only idea i have come up with so far is to get the game room up and running and then just post it as an event whenever I have the time to sit and play videogames and wait for people looking for the support to come out. The more i have spoken with people and started talking to various organizations the more i realize that there is a need for a group like this. I had a friend Chris who would come all the way from another province just to find support, But It was an open group with alot or older very intimidating people who seemed to enjoy scaring people off. he visited me (he was about my age probably 7 years ago) a few times crashing on my couch because a 15 hour drive I was the closest trans person I guess he felt he could get support from. after a few visits he just dissapeared. I found out almost a year latter he had taken his life and his family never knew basically anything, so noone in his family knew he was struggling and they didnt find out for almost a year that he had a hidden group of friends, they felt bad they werent able to invite us to his funeral. I only mention that as it seems to be on my mind alot as I try to figure out how to create a place that could have made a difference and could now make a difference to hopefully alot of trans youth. There are a few trans groups in the area with i would guess the average age of them being 40. So any advice from youth or from people who have found a way to successfully start a youth group would be appreciated.
First of all, I think that what you're doing is awesome! I am not trans myself, but I have a few trans friends, and trans issues have been really prevalent in my life as of late. The main thing that I think would help trans teens is education. I think that any queer person who is trying to understand themselves, and understand why they are "different" could benefit from a crash course in gender vs. biological sex. As an ally to trans people, I found that understanding this difference helped me understand what it means to be trans, and I feel like, in the same way that I'm learning about my own queerness, trans teens need to understand what's going on inside of them. I think that one way to do this is to design activities that shatter myths about gender, and myths about biological sex. Again, I'm not trans, so I could be totally off base here, but it helped me. I do think that it's important to find enjoyable ways to demonstrate these principles (using mannequins and gendered normed clothing for a fun, gender-bending activity, perhaps, or word association games where the kids discuss social perceptions of gender and sex), but it could help. Good luck, and let me know if I can be of any further assistance as an ally!
I think what you are doing is so wonderful. I understand your concern about how to attract people to come though. I remember staring at a gsa table in my high school for 3 days before I had the guts to walk up to it. And I was already out to some people and had many lgbt friends. It is the fact that if you go to some sort of queer youth meeting, you are fully admitting you are one of them. That is the hardest part. My advice would be to initially advertise the group as more of an educational group, where people can learn about what it means to be trans, what all the different sections are under the giant trans umbrella (genderqueer, mtf, ftm, cross dressing etc. and the fluidity of gender), and other things. Don't necessarily try to attract only trans teens, but curious, open-minded teens. Maybe some people from local lgbt's. That will start to build up a group of people, some of whom may be questioning their gender. But if you really think about it, if straight and gay/lesbian/bi...people are more educated about the trans community then the idea of being trans may seem less, I guess, scary. If the public is more accepting and knowledgable it will make it easier for everyone. It will sure make it easier for a trans kid to get the guts to go to a support group of sorts. I definitely would still keep it focused on trans youth though. Also maybe try to have some fun events. The game room sounds cool. Maybe host some sort of tournament. Also maybe try to stock up on some books than kids could read there or borrow. I know the internet is how most kids learn now, but some are paranoid about parents looking at their search history and books can still be really helpful anyway. You could always do some sort of performance thing to. Like put on a revue or have someone come perform for them. I know I have recently found I deep love for drag performance, watching and actually dressing in drag myself, but it was very difficult for me to explore this side of me b/c I didn't have the close and if I did have something, I was scared of how people would react when they saw me in it. (I know drag is much different than being trans, but I have trans friends who say clothing was a huge part of transition for them. When they dressed up in the close they actually wanted to wear it was hugely liberating) Make the group a place where people can where whatever they want. Maybe even let people bring an outfit that they can change into there. The idea sounds a bit crazy, but maybe even having some clothes for people to mess around in and kind of play dress up with would be a good idea. You could have a drag ball of sorts. That is what my college did and that gave me a chance to dress in drag myself and explore that side of me (and I met a trans woman and many wonderful drag queens) Sorry that is long. Those are just some ideas. Not being trans myself, i don't know if they are all the helpful, but hopefully it will help a bit.
I am a trans (sort of). The username I have the name I would choose if I could be a girl, but I think the deepest conflict between "normal" and queer people is that we don't understand eachother. It really is sad. I haven't come out yet and wish I had some pointers.
