Anyone else feel this, but not consider themselves trans? I don't feel strongly male, but I do feel like an androgynous male. I used to think it was all in my head but I even have the low 2D-4D ratio, which I know is science nerd stuff and also something that some straight women have but once I found out I had it I was glad to see that I had at least some reasoning for always thinking this way. But anyway, I'm pretty outwardly feminine, and for some reason , although it feels like I'm playing dress up everyday or that I'm sneaking into the girls' locker room when I'm around other women, I don't feel that weird about it. I still like looking feminine, I guess I even enjoy some of the perks. I've never felt grossed out or confused about having a female body, but if I a woke up as a man tomorrow I don't think I'd feel any different. Still feels kind of strange, though. I've met some women who were like me in this way and were actually straight. I think it throws some people and that I attract other women who look like me as friends, sometimes, then later they might be a little disappointed when they figure out that I'm not all that great at being a "girl", lol. I don't have macho interests or anything, but definitely do not have feminine ones and can only relate to about 15-20% of my own gender in a real way. Anyone else?
I have macho interests like sports because its fun to be aggressive and work hard for about 45 minutes a week during league games playing Ice hockey. But I've wanted to be soft and pretty at times. Basically wanted to be a girl for a time I was living this sort of confused double life. Before I was born the doctor said I was a girl and then right before I was born my sex was changed to male. People say this can directly effect sexual orientation that kind of stuff. I remember being young and wanting girls acceptance over guys. I don't know if that has anything to do with anything I really don't. Two nights ago I had a dream I was wearing a dress and I just wanted to feel beautiful in that dress and others look upon me as it was acceptable for me to wear that dress. In this dream it never registered with me weather I was man or woman but I still woke up a big hairy man in my shorts and a t-shirt. No flowery dress. lol just a stupid dream.
For me, gender dysphoria consists mainly of random panic attacks that hit me in inappropriate places. Thats probably not your case, but I'd like to point out that a desire to be androgynous is actually a form of transgender. Its called neutrosis, and its as important as any other kind of transsexuality, although generally not considered so by doctors. Thats not to say you really are trans - I guess only you can decide that. Feel free to message me, though. I can't really empathise, but if I were to wake up one day without breasts, even without a penis, I'd feel a hell of a lot better than I do right now.
