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Coming out trans to a suspicious family?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by xJinxedFoolx, Jun 4, 2011.

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  1. xJinxedFoolx

    xJinxedFoolx
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Detroit, MI.
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    A few people
    My mom has asked me twice if I am trans. And well, both times I said I thought about it. But I don't think so.

    NOTE: She just asked the second time 2 days ago.

    But I've gotten so depressed I need to tell her, I just don't have the courage.

    Help please?
     
    #1 xJinxedFoolx, Jun 4, 2011
  2. StarofMiyu

    StarofMiyu
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    Is she homophobic at all? If she's a really accepting parent then come out to her..
     
    #2 StarofMiyu, Jun 4, 2011
  3. Mirko

    Mirko
    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Gender Pronoun:
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    Gay
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    Out to everyone
    Hi there! If your mom is asking you as to whether you are trans, there is a pretty good chance that she is already suspecting something. Maybe think about as to how she approached you about it.

    It sounds like that you have reached a point where you need to let it out and talk to her about it. If you start feeling depressed and it is weighing heavily on you, the sooner you can talk with her, the better it might be. You already have a good starting point for the conversation with her.

    If you feel you can't talk to her in person, which is absolutely fine, maybe try writing it all out in a letter and give her the letter and write out the things you want your mom to know.

    If you feel it could help to give her some information to read in her own time, I would suggest giving her a copy of PFLAG's "Our Trans Children". Also, you are the best person to help your mom understand as to what it means being transgender to you.

    (*hug*)
     
    #3 Mirko, Jun 5, 2011
  4. Keelin

    Keelin
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    If she's suspecting, it most likely won't be a shock when you tell her

    Good luck
    -Lili
     
    #4 Keelin, Jun 5, 2011
  5. Wolfy

    Wolfy
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    Next time she asks, you should just nod or something.
    My mom's asked me plenty of times, and I said no because the way she said it. But, I should of told her sooner. Listen, you're 14. 2 more years until such wonderful things.
    If you come out now, and get a Therapist, you can get diagnosed (No, I don't like that word) and get put on hormone blockers to stop you from all female changes that we hate.
    Just wait for her to ask again, and then tell her. If she doesn't ask, then I think you should write her a letter and leave it in her room or something. This'll be a big, but great step for you.
    Good Luck
     
    #5 Wolfy, Jun 5, 2011
  6. justjade

    justjade
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    I have the same issues. My family is very suspicious, too. They haven't actually asked me if I'm trans, but I do get questions from them like, "Why do you want to look like a boy", and I've just been playing it off like, "It's just comfortable. I like this haircut/shirt/pair of jeans, etc." They know I wear guys' clothes, and I know they think it's weird. I tried explaining it to my sister, but she just said, "What are you talking about? You're a girl, and you're beautiful." Yeah, so that didn't work....

    I'm glad you're thinking about saying something, though. I would wait until she asks again. You're very brave for wanting her to know. I'm scared to death to tell my family that I don't want to be recognized as a woman.

    It'll be tough, but you can do it.

    Good luck.
     
    #6 justjade, May 21, 2013
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