So confused... gender identity and a guy????

My advice is just focus on how you feel about him & dont worry so much about the gender stuff. Love is love, attraction is atraction & if you both like each other, then why not date? But I do think he is right to say that you should give yourself some time to sort things out before you do anything. It would suck if you both like each other & then things didnt work out...

 

Hey Liz =D

I know I already gave you what advice I could, but I just wanted to pop in and show my support. If he's a good guy then you should go for it as long as you are open and honest about my concerns. Also, I totally understand the gender confusion. Good luck!!! (*hug*)

 

I would just allow yourself to be.

You're young. You've had crappy experiences. I think the best option right now would be to have fun, explore who you are, figure out what you want from life... and just let the rest of it fall into place as it will. See a hot guy? Check him out. Feel attracted to a woman? Embrace it. Eventually you'll get some sort of idea on preference, but you don't HAVE to know right now. You just have to recover, heal and grow.

Personally, I would go slow on a relationship. I too have been exploring a relationship with someone, and you know that I just got out of one... just take it slow, see what comes from it. Don't rush into anything serious yet. And explain your worries to him; if you worry you'd wig out if he tried to kiss you, talk to him about it and explain that it's not him, you just were hurt and have to work past that hurt. A good person will understand that.

As for the gender issue, well, nothing wrong with being bigendered.

 

I think just take it day by day, as long as he is aware of your past and your issues and it sounds like he is being respectful, then just take it really steady and see how it goes, but love it love and if you like him you should allow yourself to enjoy that.

 

i agree with everyone else and i understand that ur hurt and have bad experiences.i too have had horrible experiences but just explain things to him and take it very slowly.

 

He sounds like a really good guy, and it sounds like you really like him.

Have you had any therapy at all to deal with what you went through with your ex? A good therapist might have strategies for you and a partner to deal with it when things come up.

I don't think you should let what your ex did to you prevent you from having a new relationship with a great guy you really like. That would be terrible.

If the only thing stopping you from having a relationship with this guy is trauma inflicted on you by someone else, then I think you should go out with him and seek therapy for the trauma. If he'd be willing to see the counselor with you, that might be good, too--the therapist can help you communicate with each other, and help him to know how to respond if you do "wig out." And he would definitely have to be willing to take it really slow--but it sounds like he is.

It seems to me like you are not unsure about him at all, really--just about yourself.

But I think it's a horrible idea to let what your ex did with you permanently prevent you from dating men. If it's still interfering with your life in that way, it would be a really good idea to do something about it.

 

Well sounds like you are both going about it in the right way, you by being open, explaining when something makes you feel uncomfortable and why (even though its not his fault) and he works around it.