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should i tell my mom i'm trans. now or later?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by lucas52, Dec 21, 2011.

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  1. lucas52

    lucas52 Guest

    So, I'm about to start a new school after this year is over and moving and i really want people to see me a i really am (as a boy). so i'm thinking that i might do that for my new school. but, the problem is the only way i could do this is if my mom is ok with it. i haven't told her yet and due to the fact that i go to an all girl school now she might want to send me to an all girl school again (and it kind of sucks when the girl you like thinks that your a girl). i really wanted to tell my mom because every time she make me wear a dress or tells me to be more lady-like the only thing keeping me from being extremely mad and frustrated is tell myself that its just half a year till she never does this again, just half a year till she understand me. but, what if she doesn't understand, if she doesn't then i wouldn't have the trust and love that i feel i have with her now. should i tell her when it is in the summer and i'm about to go to school or just not tell her for now?
     
    #1 lucas52, Dec 21, 2011
  2. pace e amore

    pace e amore
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    What is her opinion on transgenders, does she agree with them or disagree?
     
    #2 pace e amore, Dec 21, 2011
  3. lucas52

    lucas52 Guest

    she sort of just doesn't understand them
     
    #3 lucas52, Dec 21, 2011
  4. J Snow

    J Snow
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    Looking back, I think it would be better to tell her now, but it is a difficult decision to make at such a young age. If you trust your mom, and really have faith in how much she loves you, I think its a good idea. However, remember that if it doesn't go well, you still have another 5 years before you'll be able to be out on your own.
     
    #4 J Snow, Dec 21, 2011
  5. StarofMiyu

    StarofMiyu
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    I think you meant 3
     
    #5 StarofMiyu, Dec 21, 2011
  6. person54

    person54
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    What J Snow said.

    I haven't talked to too many other trans people in person but it seems that everyone wishes they would have talked about it sooner when they look back on their childhood. It's definetely important to keep in mind the possible negative consequences of coming out, but your mom is in a position to give you a lot of support and with time could also turn out to be a great ally. No real way of knowing how she will react for sure until you tell her.
     
    #6 person54, Dec 21, 2011
  7. Eli

    Eli Guest

    My impression has always been that if it's safe to tell someone and you want to, it's a good idea. I came out to my parents 2?ish months after coming out to myself as transgender. The reason I would advise this for you, if you're sure about the school thing, is because you're going to need a parent's help working things out with a new school.
    I guess I would say, be willing to compromise. Don't expect instant changes in how your mom or other people may act around you. At the same time, you've got a pretty good opportunity in a new school to pass without other people knowing your old name. With regards to coming out to your mom, especially if she's confused by the whole idea, I'd provide her with some pflag pamphlets so she at least has some idea of how to react. Let me know how it goes!
     
    #7 Eli, Dec 22, 2011
  8. seeksanctuary

    seeksanctuary
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    Tell her.

    I wish I would have come out sooner. I could have gotten so much help, so much sooner... maybe been on T sooner, saved up for surgery sooner, gotten my name changed sooner... :/ And maybe actually have the childhood I should have had. You have that chance, so GO FOR IT. Even if she is confused and needs time to accept you, better to start NOW than later, especially since she sounds like a reasonable person.
     
    #8 seeksanctuary, Dec 22, 2011
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