You all know by now I came out a 'Gay' to my family a few months ago... but the truth is, I'm not. I'm Trans. I've been thinking about this for years. But only recently decided to do something about it. The Specialist is supposed to call sometime this month to set up an appointment. Now, we all know how everyone took the news that I am gay very well. They all accepted it like they always knew it. Being trans for some reason though, seems not to be going over well with some people... I told my sister, and she's fine with it, but an incident happened where my parents heard us talking about it, and my Mom nearly freaked out. I had no problem wanting to tell them I was gay before I had my ex-girlfriend over ( we broke up shortly after I came out ), so why am I more jittery about coming out as trans? My thoughts right now are to tell them after I start T... but that's not fair is it? A part of me wants to tell them now, though the other part of me wants to wait... All I want to do is sit them down and explain to them how I feel... but when is the best time? To them, this will be more then telling them I am gay... Oh, and I accidentally came out as trans at work ( with a different crew then the one I work with ). One of them came up to me and asked if I was gay, and I replied without thinking, "Well, my girlfriend calls me her boyfriend if that counts" and his face was like: :eek: Since then, they have included me in their 'guy only' jokes, and we all pick on each other more. I took my last break late today, and sat down in the lunch room, right as the other crew came for their break, and I have no idea what they were saying, but one of them called me a lady, and everyone else burst out laughing, and one guy replied, "( Blkrsn ) is no lady!" and he looked up at me and said, "You going to let them talk about you that way?" and I laughed and said, "He's right."
I wish I had a boyfriend as cool as your girlfriend. <jealousy> I'm out as trans to a few people, and for the most part they don't really care, though they don't really understand it very well. I think it's funny how people can be so okay with someone being gay but make a big deal about it when your trans. "Oh I don't have a problem with who you're fucking, but dammit if I see you in a dress I'm gonna flip out!" It must be a blow to their own fragile sense of gender. Whatever.
I know DhammaGamer! Its so strange, everyone had such an open mind to me being gay... but everyone I told that I am 'straight', but 'trans' thinks its weird... Sucks to be them when I hopefully start T later this month ... I just don't know how or when to tell them...
My girlfriend is trans- MtF. I don't care about her body, because she's my girlfriend. Trans I think is a different sphere to LGB, in people's opinion- probably because it actually changes how you want them to treat you, and they have to start revising how they think of you from 'she' to 'he' or vice versa. I don't know why its such a big problem, but it seems to be, and my heart to go out to you. Feel free to talk to me if you ever need to talk.
I wouldn't say it's unfair to not tell people until you're on T (really, you have to consider what's best for you FIRST), but remember that, once on T, the changes will come FAST. The T may force you to come out before you're fully prepared because people will start asking questions. For me personally, the perfect time to come out was after I scheduled my doc appointment to start T, but before I actually went. That way I felt like my announcement had some extra validity to it (since I had already spent time and money getting a therapist's letter and scheduling an appointment, this was obviously not a phase or something I was taking lightly), but I didn't yet have any physical changes that may make things more difficult or complicated. I think you should tell them soon, but not until you are completely ready. The trick is that you really need to be comfortable and sure of yourself because, inevitably, some people will try to talk you out of it or ask you to wait a while before medically transitioning.
For me, coming out as trans was something I wanted to do before I started on hormones, since I wanted to see who was going to stick with me thru everything & who was going to dump me right away. Im now out to 100 people now! And no one has freaked yet, although you never know, it could come later on. Ill be starting on HRT this month, & I so cant wait to finally start being the girl Ive always been on the inside & have people see me that way. It will take a while, but Im so excited for everything. For me, it was kind of one of those, 'this is what will be happening to me in the next 6 months to a year, so be prepared' kind of situation. Building a support network for when you transition can be crucial, since youre changing your body to match your gender. I also think its so much harder being trans & coming out as trans because being gay is much more accepted than it was even 20 years ago. Saying you want to be the opposite gender is a bit harder for people to wrap their heads around, which is what makes it even harder. What's worse, for some of us, we have to come out twice. I know that after I came out to my mother as trans in July, I had to tell her in October that I was also a lesbian, which was a bit harder for her to grasp, since for her, Im still physically male & she doesnt see it as me being gay, even tho I do. Trans people have things a bit harder sometimes, I definitely agree!
