Transition - Perhaps my only moral dilemma.

I've never thought of it that way, and while that does make it SOUND selfish, I don't really see how it is...

Just another youtube troll looking to start a fight. I wouldn't pay any attention to it.

 

I don't understand that mentality. I mean, yeah, the world mostly sucks. For every country where you could just walk down to the local bar and kick back a few drinks and walk home safely, there's two where you get machete'd in the face for speaking weird.

But, like, it's not like you becoming what you are inside is taking away medical care from anybody else. So you doing what you want prevents that doctor or surgeon from what? Discovering the cure for cancer? Curing Malaria forever? Bullshit.

The same could be said for people born with paralysis or the inability to walk. "Oh, so these people are wanting doctors to go out of their way to give them the ability to walk? Selfish!" You wanting a better quality of life is not selfish.

That commenter is an ass and really pisses me off. I'm sorry for the harsh language.

 

This makes me sound like SUCH a horrible person, but I need to say it.

You were born in a good country with a great benefit - you have the option of a surgery.
Sucks to not have health care and benefits, but you do and you can also have your surgery (sorry I'm using short language, I'm on my iPod and it's hard to type).
Just because people elsewhere don't get healthcare... Why should you care? You do.

 

I agree with the others, just gonna phrase it differently.

While I agree that it does come off selfish... think of it this way. What does not having surgery accomplish? Like another put, I doubt that doctor is going to find the cure in the few hours he's not preoccupied (not to mention I'm sure if he was looking for a cure, he wouldn't be a surgeon, but rather in research). And you certainly aren't going to feed all the starving children by forgoing your desired female genitals.

The only reason I can see not having the surgery would benefit all those "less fortunates" would be if you were going to donate every single cent of that surgery to some other cause. And yeah, you could. But if we're using that thinking, all of us could cut back a little on a whole bunch of things and have hundreds of thousands times the impact.

And not to veer off topic too much, but the reason for all of those non-first world problems is not strictly related to "a lack of money"; there's something inherently wrong with the system the world is working in, and it needs to change. You can plunge as much money into starving countries as you want, but without a change in mentality (amongst a load of other things), it's just a band-aid fix.

So is it selfish? Yeah, I'd say so. But by not going through with it, you don't end up making any impact on the world, you just make yourself miserable.

 

I agree 100% with this, and I also have to add, that not only will foregoing surgery have absolutely no impact on the world, but having it might. For some people, having this kind of surgery isn't a luxury, but a necessity. Maybe you don't consider it necessary for yourself, and that's fine. However, without it, many will commit suicide, and others will live in depression for their whole existence. People who are happy and alive are more likely to contribute to society than people who are miserable or dead. Don't underestimate the importance of mental health; just because you can't see it doesn't mean that it's not as important, or even more so, than physical problems.

Another thing is that most insurances don't cover transgender-related healthcare, so a lot of people seeking it are paying for it out of pocket. It's their money, so why shouldn't they be able to choose what they want to spend it on? Like BudderMC said, the money could be donated to charities, but the chances they were going to use it for those purposes are slim. They probably would have spent it on other things like food, an education, or their hobbies.

 

The user who made that comment is feebly trying to dress transphobic bigotry in a pretty humanitarian gown and little pink hair bows. Getting a sex reassignment surgery is not frivolous, discontinuing the practice will not solve any public health or poverty issues and it is not the fault of transgender that people are deprived of medical care (especially considering that many of them presumably live in places like that). It's a weak demonisation tactic, a cousin of "Germany is poor because the Jews are greedy" and "welfare bums are the reason the economy is in recession."

 

I had similar thoughts when I went to see a therapist (depression) I thought that since I was comfortably middle class and lived in one of the wealthiest countries on earth that my problems were irrelevant compared to ‘the bigger picture’ but I ultimately learned that this attitude is self-defeating. As much is I sympathise with the plight of people in 3rd World Countries NOT getting help helps no-one.

Ask yourself if you didn’t transition and lived miserably as a male forever (assuming that you are transgender how’s that going btw?) who that would help?

Poor people in 3rd world countries would still be poor the only thing that would change is that you’d be sad & depressed as well .

 

I only recently became open to myself about what i am. I always did wish to have a penis but didnt know much abt transgender or surgeries. But i think back in closet i would say that person is snarky.

Yeah i have seen gay rights peeps use same thing in reverse, you complain abt men kissing and children are starving in Africa.

I never liked such emotional arguements. They are unrelated.

For fact there are poor people who cant afford necessities. If emergency surgery there are ways it gets paid if they have no money.

Transgender men and women deserve help too. We are not irrelevant. But some will kill themself without help. Give them the best and before me.

 

Not transitioning won't help people who can't afford healthcare to afford it unless you're planning on putting all that money aside into a special fund. And at that point you enter the moral dilemma of whether it's okay not to be living paycheck-to-paycheck in a cardboard box while donating all your money to Oxfam.

 

It Good to hear that your making Progress.

As for me I’m still unsure, I’m leaning toward bi-gendered/genderqueer/androgynous. And I’m not thinking about it 24/7 anymore although I still get a little jealous at the other girls and I’d still total choose to be born female if I had the choice.

But whatever I turn out to be, at least I’m not dwelling on it 24/7.

 

Well thank God, you mean in the process of acceptance and discovery there is a point you can stop thinking on it finally?
I felt a slight relief two days ago but im scared it is temporary as all my life i recall points unknowingly i was obsessing on needing my gender identity and sexuality clarified, and i could survive and play i wasnt because it would go down in intensity for long periods.

I hope by my accpting my own unique queerness is a good and natural inate part of me I am going to get more of my mind back. We are all different but curious how long did it take you to level out a bit?

And yeah! Congrats!

 

Not at all a moral dilemma, and whoever said that in the comments is a transphobic fucking moron.

 

Well - I'm kicking myself for once again entering an interesting thread late, but anyway.

I sympathise with J Snow, in regards to their comment about "prejudices towards plastic surgery". Aside from burns victims, soldiers exposed to gas attacks, and people without functional mouths/nasal passages etc, I can't really understand how one could justify plastic surgery.

Now while I have the greatest of sympathies for transgender people, seeing as I might be one myself - I do think that there is something....shallow....in everyone's transition-fevour.

Don't get me wrong, If I could take a procedure that would alter my body into the shape I think I desire, I'd take it in a heartbeat. But that isn't really an option.

Perhaps the fact that it isn't an option for me, embitters me to those for whome it is - but I can't help but see that, even for those who are borderline suicidal about their body image (like myself) - that surgery can really be a positive thing.

The idea that one's body image can depress one makes sense to me. But to alter one's body image via surgery in the hopes or alleviating that stress? Wouldn't it be easier to simply change one's perspective of one's self?

I know that's easier said than done. I know that everyone dosn't transition, it's different for everyone.



But there is a tendency in the community to expect transgender individuals to transition.


I'm sorry if I've offended anyone here - I'm utterly confused - and I'm just speaking my thoughts...

But.....if you have a deep-seated issue with your body....how does that correlate to correcting it with surgery? I mean....can't you just live with that deep-seated issue?

Of course then you can turn around and say "No I can't! It's driving me mad! It's all I think about! It makes me constantly sad, and I want to die because of it!"

In that case - yes yes I understand...you have a serious issue there...but maybe instead of trying to alter your body permanently...you should first try and deal with your mental issue - mentally...

I mean, I agree with Mogget - not transitioning won't help solve world hunger. Or give support to those in the dialysis ward, who are going to be stuck hooked up to an artificial kidney all their lives.

But getting plastic surgery for a transgender issue - isn't really about an ethical responsibility towards those with worse health issues than you....it's about considering the nessecity of the procedure for you.

Are you transitioning because you want to remodel your body? Or are you transitioning so that society will accept you as the gender you want to be seen as.

In which case - is there something wrong with society for being so dependant on looks? Yes. Is that going to change in the near future? No. Can you live with yourself for knowing you surgically altered your appearance - in order to fit in with society's narrow views on gender?

But then on the flip side - can you live with yourself - if every day when you look in the mirror, you want to strangle the stranger standing there?


My Dad once said (and I'm sorry to those of you who've heard this before). That if someone said that they felt that their gender was different to their physical sex, then by wanting surgery to correct that disconnect, they were debasing their original beleif. In essence. If one is transgender. Wanting to transition, is like, wanting to appear cisgendered. And that's being untrue to yourself.

At the time, I thought he just didn't understand the pain that transgender people go through. But now...even though I have issues that probably could be classed as transgender, I think I agree with him.

Yes, perhaps you feel suicidal because of the physical gender you were born into. But maybe, this is just your lot in life. Like those who are born with parkinsons disease, or Autism. And maybe, instead of trying to normalise. To transition to fit in. You should be proud to be yourself. Even if that means one day you might cut your own wrists.



Well....I don't really know what this post was about. But hopefully it gave you something to think about.

 

I'm sorry, but why should you feel selfish about it? If someone wants to "transition" it doesn't make them selfish at all just because other people can't afford surgery. Thats like saying you should feel bad about dining out just because there are starving people.

 

You should feel bad about dining out because of the homeless people out the front of the restaurant, who are living out of rubbish bins. While you eat premium cut lamb shanks.

 

Not sure if joking... But if you aren't, I can sort of see where you are coming from, because I feel very sad for homeless/starving people. My opinion on the matter is hard to express without me sounding like a selfish prick though.

 

Well, no, not even then. You should feel compassionate for them, yes, and you should also pressure politicians to spend your tax money on alleviating issues of poverty, but you should not feel guilty about dining. You dining does not cause them suffering and if you ceased dining, and indeed eating healthily at all, it would not help their situation in the least.

 

You could feel bad because you and them are on opposite ends of the same "spectrum" (of having food to eat..? that sound silly, w/e), but like others said, you can still go eat.

Like I put in my first post, you aren't going to solve any world issues by forgoing whatever set of genitals you want.